Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Thursday, April 09, 2009
Tuesday, April 07, 2009
Monday, April 06, 2009
Saturday, April 04, 2009
I love it when a plan comes together!
I am positively AMAZED at what a few beers, some spray paint, and a saturday afternoon can produce.
Sadly, I am unable to participate in the BABE Rally 2009, but was more than glad to lend a hand to team sweatbox and giving vanaroonie a new coat honoring the A-Team.
The end result is a virtual mona lisa on wheels...
The van looks good. Good enough to make George Peppard Gizz in His Pants.
Wednesday, April 01, 2009
New Coke and Damn Yankees
What I found on Wikipedia was simply fascinating. Coke did do a fair amount of market research before rolling out the new formula. Coke did not successfully foresee the big picture, nor consider the implications of deviating from their original brand promise. Let me try to summarize…
Coke wanted to attract younger buyers to help beat Pepsi in the Cola wars of the 80s and the decided to refine the formula as a means to do so. The new formula was sweeter than both the old coke and pepsi (pepsi traditionally being sweeter that old coke). It was important to attract younger consumers as they speculated, and rightly so, that as consumers age, they become more concerned with health and calories (and thus more likely to switch to diet versions, which were a much smaller part of the pie back then). At the time the younger audiences preferred the sweeter taste of Pepsi.
This move also had to be fueled, at least in part, to the taste tests that pepsi was doing and consistently beating coke. Although that method is often criticized as being flawed, as it is a sip test, and people will prefer more intense flavor in smaller volume (i.e a sip) as opposed to a full serving. Furthermore, Coke had smartly reframed this in previous ad campaigns featuring Bill Cosby. In these ads, the Cos said he preferred Coke because it was less sweet. As a result, the new formula sandbagged that whole campaign and marked a 180 shift in how the brand promoted itself, which is never a good thing.
But back to new coke, Coke did a number of studies, including focus groups in surveys to measure reaction to the new formula. The net result was positive, especially in the surveys. The focus groups, however, did reveal a small set (10% or so) of consumers STRONGLY opposed to the switch. This was sufficient enough for Coke to feel confident to make the switch and they began rolling out new coke.
New coke was not the instant flop that we tend to remember. Sales data show that many old coke drinkers were quick to adopt the new version and consume in equal quantity. However, just as in the focus groups, there was a very displeased and very vocal minority. These people were often southerners who considered coke as a part of the regional identity, and viewed the cola war like the civil war (considering the NY based Pepsi to be the Yankee enemy). Changing the formula to be more like Pepsi was a slap in the face and when Coke hired a psychiatrist to screen calls, the found that the tone of the callers was not unlike those mourning the death of a family member. Pretty soon, hating on the new formula became a bandwagon and folks started piling on, regardless of whether or not people actually liked the product.
Soon enough coke got tired of the drama and brought the old formula back.
Check out the full article on Wikipedia when you get a chance.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Blame Al Gore
Being a dude's ski weekend and operating without our moral compasses, I am thankful that flack is all I received as opposed to the potential t-bag or pseudo-sanchez that may or may not be associated with such events.
So in a weak attempt to provide some semi-entertaining material, I will share a few responses to an interesting political discussion that has been volleyed among some of my distance relatives and myself.
The launching point was an email that indicates the owners of SNOPES (which is a source for debunking myths, urban legends, and common internet fallacies) are democrats who are running the site for profit and to advance the liberal agenda.
Here are some responses written in the spirit of good fun...
Topic15:
This news should not be surprising.
After all Snopes resides on the Internet.
And we all know Al Gore invented the Internet, and thus by transitive properties all Internet content defaults to the liberal agenda.
It's simple math.
Plus NOW it's in an email so it is totally true.
Now I've got to go wire my new best friend, Prince Nabujaru in Nigeria $10,000.
Aunt Carol:
Right, your new friend should be told, that Bill Gates is giving us $250, something or another for keeping these emails going.
Topic15:
Gosh, you are totally right.
I was going to tell prince nabujaru that, but I have been distracted today.
You see, I was on my way to fill up my gas tank early this morning, since tomorrow is the Don't buy gas on thursday 3/12 boycott that will result in 99 cents gas next week, but while on my way to the gas station, I passed a car driving with no headlights.
I wanted to alert them, so I flashed my highbeams, which was a BAD idea. Turns out, it was a gang trying to initiate new members and they tried to kill me.
Lucky I am a morning person and I was able to outmanuever them. They crashed into a colony of giant desert camel spiders which proceeded to bite them, rendering them unconscious.
This all happened in the seedy parking lot of a motel in vegas, so naturally, I booked a room, dragged the gang bangers inside and removed their kidneys and left them in an ice bath.
I was able to fetch a solid $20,000 per kidney on the black market.
Now I have my $10,000 to send to prince nabujaru AND fill up my tank!
Sunday, March 01, 2009
Hittin Harder the Riddick Bowe...
I might joke with people about having forgot more about old school hip hop than they will ever learn, but after finding some of the tracks in those mix tapes, there might be something too it.
I found monster underground tracks including this one:
Even better is that in proper mixtape style, half the songs on the tapes were dubbed straight off the radio and have Donnie Simpson or Al B D chatting it up at the tail end (that's where the title came from, a quick sign off from Donnie Simpson from 93.9 citing a track hitting harder than Riddick Bowe.)
Gotta love the old school.
Here's another classic brought back to life:
2 Pac -- Keep ya head up (vibe tribe remix)
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Taste Check One Two...One Two...
What is the consensus on naming a beer "The Last Supper?"
Is that considered overtly tasteless?
Some of you might be asking yourself, "Here, here topic15! Where do you get such ideas?"
Well I will tell you.
My dreams.
Specifically a dream where some hoodrat checkout lady was commenting on my limited edition 44 oz Obama "Yes We Can" bottle of Colt 45 that I was buying at a local Korean Grocery store from my childhood. She was saying they should just call it "The Last Supper" cause that's all you need.
Should I be shocked and appalled at my own dream?
Or should I be getting on the phone with Colt 45's marketing department?
Monday, February 23, 2009
Because plain Mayo is just too damn healthy...
You can now step up to baconnaise. Supposedly it's kosher too. I don't know if I buy it. Not after getting burned by ball park's turkey franks this past weekend. Seconds after opening the pack, I thought to myself, these things smell disturbingly like regular hot dogs. A quick review of the ingredients revealed one of the main ingredients...BEEF STOCK. That's a dirty dog move ball park!
Saturday, February 07, 2009
When in Portland...
They serve everything from doughnuts dipped in chocolate rice crispies and filled with peanut butter to maple and bacon to one glazed in Nyquil. The shop has been featured on a few shows such as Bourdain's no reservation and most recently Man vs. Food.
The Man vs. Food did a quick pan shot of the dessert case and I was pretty such I saw a doughnut shaped like a wang. A quick visit to their menu reveals that there is indeed a cock-n-balls pastry...
As described on their menu...
Cock-n-Balls(Bachlorette party favorite, tripple cream filled, with your favorite saying written right on it. Comes in its own pink box. $4.95 Order ahead as supplies can be limited.)
Holy twig and berries! I am mildly shocked by such a creation, but also intrigued. Can you imagine slipping one of these into the anonymous dozen of dunkin donuts in the break room? The watching people's reactions when they open the box? It is sort of like tying a snake to the lid, and then scaring the bah-jeezus out of them when the snake pops out. It is just that this snake only has one eye.
Ug, bad joke, sorry couldn't resist. Anyhow despite the mule log, if ever I find myself in Portland, count me in for a visit to Voodoo and sign me up for the Memphis Mafia which involves (chocolate chips/banana/ peanutbutter).
The king would approve.
Friday, February 06, 2009
Take II
Shout out to the wagon mafia. Woot Woot!
Thursday, February 05, 2009
Unintended Usage
One of the things that I am fairly certain of is that when Billy Bob Gates offered up PowerPoint, he did not intend it to be used to create digital graffiti. Here is my shoddy 5 minute attempt at creating a logo for the blog I never update.
If I weren't so damn lazy I would...
A) update this thing more often
B) have found a better solution here
C) have found B sooner instead of waiting until after creating the logo above to do a google search on graffiti (as a spell check, it is one of those words I can never remember the correct spelling of...is it grafetti? grafiti? graffiti?)
D) use an actual dictionary for spell checks
Lazy lazy topic15, not doing a damn thing, ya know what I mean!
Sizzlelean, drama queen, pack up your bacon and split the scene
Oh SNAP spontaneous rap song dropping on your bean
Burrito, neato, potayto patahto
This rhyme is 4th of july hot-oh
Snap, yeah that's twice in the same song
It's ok, helps to make it long
like this week
which is weak
like my lack of posting
so here's toasting
to another year of random roasting.
Sweet.
Da Juice is loose!
Holy criznap!
I saw Joose's newest offering at our local 7-11, Dragon Joose which weighs in at a stout 9.9% ABV. My curiousity may get the better of me and I may have to break down and try it. Although the last time I sampled such a bevvie (a competitive brand called tilt) I go wicked revv'd up and started to sound a bit like John Moschitta Jr. AKA the micro machine guy...
Sunday, February 01, 2009
From Hero to Ziro
Monday, January 19, 2009
One Giant Step Backwards...
So, this week's circular for Giant food features a nice plate of chicken wings to go with your Obama Yes we Can pennant.
That's just plain wrong!
Friday, January 16, 2009
Three words you don't want to hear while on a plane...
Yesterday a US Airways flight went down into the Hudson river thanks to a flock of kamikaze geese who flew straight into its engines.
The pilot tried to return to the airport but was unable to make it, and had to set it down in the Hudson and did so safely. Turns out I actually know a guy who was on the flight, a former classmate from middle school. So I am glad that all turned out well.
I am less pleased with a snippet about the incident from CNN...
"We circled around ... the captain came on and said, 'Look, we're going down. Brace for impact.' Everyone looked at each other and we said our prayers. I said about five Hail Marys," said the 31-year-old Norwalk, Connecticut, resident, who was en route to Charlotte to play golf.
But the water hazard he faced was unlike any he'd encountered on a golf course.
C'mon! Is that last sentence even necessary? CNN, who do you think you are? Fox news?
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Tool time
WIRE WHEEL: Cleans paint off bolts and then throws them somewhere under the workbench with the speed of light. Also removes fingerprints and hard-earned calluses from fingers in about the time it takes you to say, 'Oh shit'
ELECTRIC HAND DRILL: Normally used for spinning pop rivets in theirholes until you die of old age.
SKILL SAW: A portable cutting tool used to make studs too short.
PLIERS: Used to round off bolt heads. Sometimes used in the creationof blood-blisters.
BELT SANDER: An electric sanding tool commonly used to convert minor touch-up jobs into major refinishing jobs.
HACKSAW: One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board principle. It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your future becomes.
VISE-GRIPS: Generally used after pliers to completely round off boltheads. If nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.
TABLE SAW: A large stationary power tool commonly used to launch wood projectiles for testing wall integrity.
BAND SAW: A large stationary power saw primarily used by most shops to cut good aluminum sheet into smaller pieces that more easily fit into the trash can after you cut on the inside of the line instead of the outside edge.
PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER: Normally used to stab the vacuum seals under lids or for opening old-style paper-and-tin oil cans and splashing oil on your shirt; but can also be used, as the name implies, to strip out Phillips screw heads.
STRAIGHT SCREWDRIVER: A tool for opening paint cans. Sometimes used to convert common slotted screws into non-removable screws and butchering your palms.
HAMMER: Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays isused as a kind of divining rod to locate the most expensive parts adjacent the object we are trying to hit.
UTILITY KNIFE: Used to open and slice through the contents of cardboard cartons delivered to your front door; works particularly well on contents such as seats, vinyl records, liquids in plastic bottles, collector magazines, refund checks, and rubber or plastic parts. Especially useful for slicing work clothes, but only while in use.

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