Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Oh Dat's Nice

It's sorta lika a hot pocket flavored hot pocket...

but waaaaaaaaay cooler...

Yes, someone figured out how to cram a fully functional ninetendo into a nintendo cartridge.

That is freaking awesome!

You can read more about it here.

And it you were hoping for a more literal hot pocket related post, go here.

Monday, April 21, 2008

Ultimo Grosso

Amongst this weekend's adventures, I found myself wandering through a World Market, suffering from low blood sugar driven urges to buy stuff I have no business buying.

Two examples included a Gummi bear the size of my fist as well as a bag of foreign candy called Silky Nuts. INSERT TASTELESS JOKE HERE.

I also bought some Hummus to go, which is a single serving stored in an odd triangular pouch, identical to those used for those minute maid popsicles.

Despite my delusions, I DID NOT BUY the bag of Kewpie Mayonnaise. I couldn't tell for sure if the bag in the bag was shaped like an actual Kewpie doll, but given that it was imported from Japan, I am not totally ruling the idea out.

I think I may have found a gold mine for Christmas 2008 Stocking Stuffers. Nothing says happy birthday baby Jesus like a bag full of mayo from the land of the rising sun.

Friday, April 18, 2008

babies are the new black

Van damn! People are getting knocked up right and left round here.

Did Jodeci re-release Forever my lady?

It matters not! Babies are on the way, and if there is one thing I know, luck favors the prepared and here is some SOLID advice rooted in pseudo-scientific fact...

I am not saying anything, BUT, I did see some interesting findings with regard to the relationship between playing video games and deviant behavior.

A recent study showed that excessive playing of violent video games EXCLUSIVELY was a marker of tendency of increased aggression, violence, and anti-social behavior.

Interestingly enough, NOT PLAYING ANY video games was also a similar marker.

So what does that mean? Well, quite simply, it is your duty as a responsible parent to not only provide opportunity and access to video games, but a well stocked, wide library of games as well. So for even Grand Theft Auto game you will need a guitar hero 3 to ensure a well rounded video game environment.

Proper parenting dictates that you really need to go get that Wii just as much as you need that crib and stroller.

Lock it!

The Nobody post from a few days ago spawned some interesting wikipedia findings with regard to the history of locking.

The beginning of Locking can be traced to one man, Don Campbell. In the late 1960s he put together several fad dances adding moves of his own (notably the "Lock") when performing.
The original lock was created by accident: Don Campbell couldn't do a move called the Funky Chicken and stopped at a particular point. He wasn't able to perform it fluently, for he couldn't remember which step to take next. (Even the acting towards the audience was of spontaneous nature: people started laughing at Don because of his unfamiliar moves, whereas he started pointing at them.) These halts soon became popular as Don added them into his performances.

The resulting dance was called Campbellocking, which was later shortened to Locking.

In the early 1970s this set off a movement of Locking dance groups. The most notable was when Campbell formed the dance group The Lockers [T15 note: this is the group in the commercial] and set the foundation for locking dance and clothes style.

Now you know what it is, here is how you doooooz it...

Alpha/applejax/Oilwells --One leg is kicked forward from a crouching position while the upper body is lent backwards supported by both hands.

Bop-top --a bop top is where you make a 70s face step with it and some hand gesture

Box split --A semi-split done with one leg bent, which enables the dancer to get up again in one swift movement.

Crazy horse or Whichaway --Altering kicks to the sides with right and left legs, upper body stationary with arms in front as if holding reins .

Funky Broadway --Moving the feet from a 'V' position to an upside-down 'V' position, while moving to the side. The body generally lags behind.

Funky Chicken --Feet move from side to side with small kicks each way, while moving the body up and down. (This is different from the James Brown Funky Chicken.)

Groove Walk or Rock-Steady or The Bump ---Stepping forward, the hip of your front foot is thrusted towards the front foot, brought back, dipped forward towards the front foot as you take a step with your back foot (sometimes used to get across the dance floor with some funk in your step)

Hop kick --A high, quick kick of one leg while standing straight on the other.

Knee Drop -- Drop to the knees with knees pointing inwards (into a W shape leg position).

Leo Walk --A funky two step where the first is an exaggerated step in a particular direction, followed by sliding of the second foot along the floor to meet the first

Lock --Bending slightly forward with arms forming a circle downward, as if lifting a heavy object.
Pacing --A quick punch to the side, with hand starting just below the shoulder. (Fist should still be open.)

Stomp the cockroach --Going down on one knee, with the other leg pointing out to the side, then pounding the floor.

Scooby doo --Taking a stationary forward step, then making a Lock

Scooby walk --Walking forward, stopping and bending knees outward with each step

Scootbot or scoobop --Skipping while making the motion of an exaggerated step to the left or right.

The Skeeter Rabbit-- a kick and shiffle hop move

Stop-and-go/Busstop--Taking a step back and to the left/right, then forward again.

Uncle Sam points --A quick, extended pointing gesture, usually held for a few seconds for emphasis

Wrist roll or Twirl --Twirling wrists while moving arms up and down in pace.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008


I know some of you don't want to deal with the hot tranny mess of watching that whole video from a few posts below, so here is a picture that basically sums it up...

I swear, no photoshop.


Citizen Kane has nothing on this masterpiece...

Friday, April 11, 2008

And then there is this...

Would you believe me if I said Heart dropped by American Idol's Give Back special to grace us with a little Barracuda?


But what if I told you halfway through the song that Neo-Yoko Ono skeezer Fergie crashes the party and starts doing one-handed cartwheels?

Would you believe me then?

I doubt it. Heck I know I didn't believe it when I heard it. But unfortunately for us all here is the proof...

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Then there is irony and just plain right...

RIP Chuck.

There is irony and there is just plain wrong

Ok now it is twice that I have witnessed a scene that has caused me to pause and think, that is just plain wrong, and trust me, after 12 years of Catholic school, it takes quite a bit to rattle my cage.

Leaving the gym I saw a car drive away with special Cancer Awareness plates (complete with matching pink ribbon magnets) and a tag that read something to the effect of SRVIVR.

Now here is where things go wrong, really wrong. The car was being driven by someone smoking, smoking with the windows up nonetheless.


Who still smokes?

Neh, who still smokes with the windows up?

Nehmore, who still smokes with the windows up on the warmest day of the year so far?

Nehfurthremore, who still smokes with the windows up on the warmest day of the year so far while trying to raise awareness of Cancer?

Granted there may be a difference between lung cancer and breast cancer, but the big C is the big C.

This whole scene is like trying to raise awareness of the energy crisis by holding a 3200 mile cross country race between a Hummer, a suburban, and an Excursion.

Tuesday, April 01, 2008

Putting the wee wee in Wii

It looks like R. Kelly may be getting his own game for the Wii.