Thursday, January 31, 2008

Thanks for nothing, Lost

After damn near a year, I was expecting a bit more.

I didn't expect all the answers, but a couple would have been nice.

What did you deliver?


And you took an hour of my time.

Honestly, I have had more interesting bowel movements than those 60 pointless minutes.

You know what hurts me the worst?

That we only get 8 freaking episodes. You think if you are only going to come out with half a season, you at least make sure it is dud free, and that you BRING IT with the first episode.

Season four current tally:

Good Shows = 0
Steaming Turds = 1

Yeah thanks a lot Lost.

Why don't you just go ahead and kill off Locke while you are at it.

Monday, January 21, 2008

Taco de Chapulines

My love of tacos only goes so far.

On a recent adventure I came across tacos de chapulines which in the menu were described as legendary. I guess they forgot to further qualify that as being legendarily gross.

You see, Taco de chapulines are, in fact, grasshopper tacos. It was a $4.50 adventure. How could I say no? Well, actually, just by saying no. I guess I was hoping they would somehow taste really good, defying my expectations in a chocolate covered pretzel kind of way.

Nope. Not even close.

There is a reason they make people eat crap like that on reality TV.

A dinner-mate best described them as tasting, hoppy, no pun intended (I think). They had a real earthy, bitter grassy taste, not unlike hops in beer. Two bites were more than sufficient to satiate my curiosity. Thankfully my back-up dish came through in a big way, mussels steamed in Tequila and garlic with a chipotle sauce.

After 1 taste adventure you would think I would have learned my lesson, well at least for the day, right?


Adventure #2

A scottish ale made with seaweed, as recommended by Lincoln, the beer hop at the Brick Skeller, a brew pub with more of the creature than one can fathom. Here is a sampling of their wares.

Ole kelpie was heads and shoulders above that hot mess of a taco, but sadly dissappointing for a $13 beer. Low ABV content, wish-washy aftertaste, and no real hint of seaweed to speak of. Rather, it sort of tasted like a cross between a porter and a bottle of aquafina.

Alas, despite the taco fiasco and half-stepping beer, the rest of weekend adventure was about as good as it gets.

Good friends, Ansel Adams, Hot Wings, Irish Car Bombs, Box seats at a hockey game, and our very own table at a packed night spot. One can not complain too much. chirp chirp chirp.

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Soup to nutters

Of the various phrases that people wield conversationally that just sort of bug me is soup to nuts.

I don't know if my disdain stems from the idea of someone teabagging my boston clam chowder or that the first person I knew who used it regularly was a royal douchebag. Eitherway I just am not a big fan.

I have, however, been curious to its origin. I knew for some odd, unexplainable reason that it was the title of the very first episode of the Three Stooges, but that seemed to have very little bearing on the context in which that phrase is used.

Thanks to some e-search, I discovered that the phrase references the progression of a typical middle eastern meal (or typical of a traditional meal at some point in time), which would begin with an appetizer consisting of some form of soup, a main course, and a dessert which often featured nuts. Thus the phrase reflects the full course of a meal, from beginning to end, and has extended to reflect the full course of action in whatever context it is used.

We had a catered lunch today and in addition to your typical plate of chocolate chip cookies was a platter of delicious treats from here.

You CAN NOT go wrong with those. Well maybe with the one flavored with rosewater.

In an odd measure of synchronicity some dropped the soup to nuts phrase following lunch, and I challenged them on whether or not they knew the origin, and they did not, so I had to drop some knowledge on they azz. Booya!

It makes me wonder how often people non-chalantly throw around words or phrases they have no clue of what they really mean, only a vague understanding of their context.

Probably more often than not.

Solomon Asch would further stress the importance of context as being equal to, if not greater than the social act which occurs therein. One of my favorite quotes of his states:

Most social acts have to be understood in their setting and lose meaning of isolated. No error in thinking about social facts is more serious than failure to see their place and function.

I like that. That's nice. Like reunite on ice.

Under that wise, wise saying I have a picture of that guy who jumped into the Lion's den in a zoo in Taipei to try and convert the lions into Christians but then got bitten.

I think there is some relevant connection there.

Or maybe that dude is just plain old school nutters.

Monday, January 14, 2008

Baby's Laughter, You are on NOTICE!

Some will say there is nothing in life more precious than a baby's laughter.

Those noobs have obviously not experienced the enlightenment that is Call of Duty 4, online using the playstation 3. I would not describe myself as a serious gamer, much less a First Person Shooter (FPS) gamer, but after an hour playing a few online death matches I think I have seen the light.

Despite my complete and utter lack of skill and access to high power weapons available to high ranking players, I am content to lurk in the shadows (aka laying in the cut) with my shiv waiting to shank an unsuspecting player. I am getting pretty shank-tastic although my victories are almost always short lived, thanks to some A-hole with a sniper rifle hiding on a roof several virtual blocks away.

It is even funnier when kats are rocking headsets to talk smack and you roll up on them with the kak kak kak and hear them go UGGH! WTF!

As good as the game is, its true purpose is training season for the forthcoming end all be all installment of grand theft auto 4, which I predict is going to be a "where were you when 2 pac got shot*" kind of defining moment.

* BTW I was in Kennedy's car outside of the pantry, sipping on a 40, on my bid night.

Tuesday, January 08, 2008

Beyond Description

Anyone remember the movie terminator?

Sure you do, the flick where the artificial intelligence of machines eventually becomes so great, they decide they no longer need humans?

Well if you can imagine that movie staring toilets instead of Cyborgs, this is probably how it would begin.

The Honorable Hamm gave me the heads up to a previously unknown, nay, unfathomable world of high performance toilets, of which, Kohler proudly calls itself "The Performance Leader in Global Toilets."

You think this is a joke. You have no idea. I think I will be forever a changed man after viewing that site (like a 2 cups, 1 girl kind of way, only without the horror).

Their crowning jewel is the Class 5 EST Performance Toilet.

When I saw the title, I couldn't decide if the Class 5 is a nod to White Water Rapids or a Klingon Warship. Either apply equally. It looks as if the flushing power of that beast could choke down the most titanic of turds and its 1970's Burt Reynolds good looks of the tank allow it to seemlessly "cloak" into the most swank decor.

No one knows for sure what EST but after watching this video, I would bet it is an acronym for Enormous Shit Transporting. For the love of pete, did they just flush an entire toy chest of Pokemon balls down the drain?

Sunday, January 06, 2008

Grab bag

Hey Kiddos!

It's been a while, so I have a few things I need to getz squared away since I have been neglecting ye olde blog as of late.

First, time for the news years resolution, to give more props...

Props to D & J who have their fishless aquarium posted on yup a site to post, view, and vote on aquariums. Theirs is out there somewhere. If you stumble across one that looks like the roman coloseum, show them the vote love.

Next, props to JN for the tightest holiday card not featuring Billy Dee Williams (see above).

Knuckle pound to baby Jesus.

Next, props to Burr for getting married, but stopping off to race go karts first. Also, props to me, t-15 AKA Shake-N-Bake for turning in the 2nd fastest time. The fastest was spanky who sold his sole to the devil for the fastest time (I think).

Not sure if it is exactly "props" worthy but I did see a billboard for a website called while enroute to PA.

Props to G & N for a fun night out on the town complete with PBR and a letterman jacket with more medals than Mr. T, include one for Hulk Hogan leg drops.

Props to K-Lou for deciding to go to Ibiza before knowing it is the um-che-oom-che-oom-che foam club party capital of the world. Actually the whole London-Budapest-Ibiza excursion leads me to believe she is secretly a club DJ. I've got my eye on you DJ K-weezy.

Props to the wife for many fine Christmas gifts including but not limited to a device called: "How many days ago did you open that food." I could explain, but just trust me. It's real. It's cool. More information here.

Another reason I love and give mad propa-loppaz to da Sheetz. I saw these on sale, at the counter, as an impulse buy purchase.

Props for everyone.

Except the new American Gladiators show.

I just watched it and wish my eyeballs were getting lasered right now. It is plain awful. Too much chatter, not enough batter. I don't give 2 shizzles for the contestant's perspective, just get in that giant hampster ball and start running.

Damn you writers strike. Damn you!

Saturday, January 05, 2008

Farewell good friend

After a long, hard, well fought 3 year battle with Kidney Disease, we had to let a member of the T-15 clan go yesterday.

Despite never quite mastering the jumping through the hula-hoop trick, Ms. Bailey Peabody AKA Rosa Parks AKA Officer Hooks AKA Darth Bailey truly was more of a cat and companion than we could have ever asked for.

You will be truly missed.