Tuesday, November 25, 2008

A lil ML History...

After seeing this...

I decided to see if I could find any interesting tidbits on Colt. I came up short on that end, but did find another interesting read here.

Below is my favorite passage...

The leading malt liquor brand at the time was Olde English, which was kind of Olde School, and Wessinger sought a way to appeal to drinkers who wanted something other than their father's malt liquor. He created St. Ides. Tropical breezes blew the palm trees pictured on the St. Ides label and gave it a kind of St. Barts, St. Kitts, West Indies attitude. (In addition, the name held meaning for the devout; St. Ides was a fifth-century Irish nun who worked miracles and foretold the future, although probably not this one.)

In the late 1980's, Wessinger heard Hip Hop artists singing about malt liquor in their songs. Singing about Olde English, "O E," now several owners away from its birthplace in Duluth, and about his own St. Ides, "the S.T. Crooked I." But Wessinger did not succumb to corporate thinking, which would have said, "Let's have our ad agency produce radio commercials that sound like this Hip Hop." Wessinger was smarter. He commissioned real Hip Hop stars to create the spots, from the sidewalk up.

The resulting songs, recorded and played in the early 1990's, are the stuff of legend. As one writer noted, they "blew the funk up." Artists included King Tee, DJ Pooh, E-Swift and Snoop Doggy Dogg. The work increased St. Ides sales by 25%, and incidentally made St. Ides the malt liquor of choice among white college students. But black and white malt liquor drinkers were not the only listeners. Almost from the beginning, community leaders and public health advocates were outraged by the lyrics. O'Shea Jackson, rapping as Ice Cube, urged his listeners to, "Get your girl in the mood quicker, get your jimmy thicker, with St. Ides malt liquor."

What a product promise! The community could only stand about four more years of that. At one point, public outcry led to the federal government's suspending all St. Ides advertising for three days. That showed 'em! The campaign ended after production of 30 radio spots. The use of sex to sell malt liquor would continue, but Ice Cube had planted the flag on a peak that might never be scaled again.

(Lost in the hue and cry was the fact that Ice Cube's lyric was clearly a lettered homage to poet Ogden Nash, the 20th century American master of light verse, whose poem "Reflections on Ice-Breaking" reads in its entirety:

Is dandy
But liquor
Is quicker.
For bringing a 1940's New Yorker magazine feel to the malt liquor milieu, we bid hail to thee, Ice Cube.)

While some Hip Hop artists were getting paid to sell St. Ides, others were not amused. Carleton Ridenhour, rapping as Chuck D with the group Public Enemy, denounced malt liquor in his song ''One Million Bottlebags.'' His very public stand against malt liquor made the appearance of his voice in a 1992 St. Ides radio spot all the stranger. The producer of a St. Ides ad had sampled a snippet of Chuck D from ''Bring the Noise.'' Even though the spot was withdrawn from airplay as soon as the sampling was protested, Mr. Chuck filed a $5 million lawsuit against the McKenzie River Corporation. ''It's unconscionable,'' noted the rapper's attorney, Lisa Davis. ''He has taken a very strong position against malt liquor, and these ads make him look like a hypocrite.'' In the end, a seven-figure settlement smoothed Chuck's ruffled feathers.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008


The jokes on you!

Well technically I guess the joke is on me.

Let me 'splain.

For whatever reason, everytime I go to Borders I feel compelled to root through the bargain book bins. Perhaps it is because I feel that all books deserve a good home. Perhaps it is because I am a cheap bastard. Either way it is just how I roll.

On my last trip I found a real gem....Adult Only Practical Jokes and an absolute steal for a mere $4.99. I figured it would be a great resource in trying to come up with some good pranks for around the office.

Unfortunately, there was good reason this book was marked down. The 90% practical jokes are bloody awful. And the last 10% are a toss up between poor jokes and just plain being cruel.

Here are a few examples...

The Welshman
Pretend to be Welsh by putting coal dust behind your ears, talking jibberish and singing all the time.

Brighten up dull Monday mornings at work by concealing a bottle of Vodka in your jacket pocket and taking sigs from it at regular intervals throughout the day.

Water Anybody
Ask a friend if they would like a drink of water, but instead give them PowerAde.

As if you couldn't guess those are example of the awful ones.

Some of the cruel ones include...

Blind Relatives
Increase blind relatives utility bills by switching all of their lights on.

Run a wire from one of the spark plug wires at the distributor cap through the firewall, under the carpet/floor map, and under the driver's seat. Bare 1/4 inch of wire and wrap it under the seat so that the bare end is as close as possible to the victim's butt when they are seated in the car. When they start th car they should get quite a nice charge.

Out of town
Wait for neighbors to leave for a vacation and tape Police Line Do Not Cross tape all over the door and place fake blood on the door know and bloody foot prints leaving the house. This works best when the neighbors have children who stayed at home during their trip.

Friday, November 07, 2008

30 Rock it like its hot...

When confronted about not paying Jenna for her role as a voice actor in his game Wang Slayer, and why he should Tracy Morgans pulls out the money response of...

"Noblesse Oblige - yes! Let's go shopping - to the Batmobile!"

I don't know if this is tied in to contemporary politics or not, but given the nature of the writers on the show, I might argue that it is (or that it more IS than AIN'T).

According to wiki wiki pedia...

"Noblesse oblige" is generally used to imply that with wealth, power and prestige come responsibilities.

The phrase is sometimes used derisively, in the sense of condescending or hypocritical social responsibility. In American English especially, the term has also been applied more broadly to those who are capable of simple acts to help another, usually one who is less fortunate.

In ethical discussion, it is sometimes used to summarize a moral economy wherein privilege must be balanced by duty towards those who lack such privilege or who cannot perform such duty. Finally, it has been used recently primarily to refer to public responsibilities of the rich, famous and powerful, notably to provide good examples of behaviour or to exceed minimal standards of decency.

Given the nature of my master's thesis, The Profitability of Socially Responsible Business, I would tend to agree with this tenet, at least to a degree. For sure, there are many examples of folks who give back (and have more than enough to do so...cough cough Bill Gates).

The real issue comes into play when this is forced upon those with means. And who decides what the threshold of said means are to gain entry into the NO club and what sort of membership fees they should pay. Given my lack of financial baller status, I think I am far from being effected. But if I were a baller, a shot caller, a little bit taller, I don't think I would mind kicking a little something back, and solidify my status of a man of the people. I mean how many sets of rims and iced out grills do I really need after all?

Anyhow, this is just a long winded post to say, I know what you are saying, without saying it 30 Rock and whereas the comment probably went unnoticed by most, I dig it as much as Who Dat Ninja.

Who needs drugs when you have strawberry pancakes?

I watched this before going to bed last night and had some of the most F'd up dreams one could imagine.

I'll try to summarize...

I was at some sort of rehearsal dinner that was being held next to the fountains at King's Dominion. Tim Gunn was at my table and he was drinking that watermelon beer I wrote about last summer. I was impressed, thinking that both TG and I endorsed this fine beverage.

Our dinner was the same feast featured on last night's episode of survivor. At the end, there was still alot of food left on everyone's plates. TG suggested we bust our own tables since the King's Dominion Staff are in their off season. Then Tim Gunn threw everyone's plates into the fountain.

But wait, here is where things really get strawberry pancake trippy...

Tim Gunn then yells at Tim Gunn (yes there are 2 at this point, an evil Tim Gunn ETG and a good Tim Gunn GTG).

GTG says "Stop that! You have no idea what you are doing! For heaven's sake there is poultry on our plates and the ducks and geese in the fountain are eating it and that is avian cannabalism!"

ETG says "It doesn't matter, ducks and geese are animals and don't have souls."

GTG says "Well, according to the bible yes, but what about the Cubans? If the Cubans see this happening we won't get the vote for another forever years. Quick get those dishes out of the fountain before the Cubans see."

That's all that I can remember and quite honesty I think that is enough to make the point.

That Strawberry Pancake video is pretty much virtual acid.

Thursday, November 06, 2008

Wednesday, November 05, 2008

Well crap...

I guess I don't need to read any more.

I swear those were the only books I really enjoyed reading.

Now I am back to Entertainment Weekly.

Tuesday, November 04, 2008

You're going down woody!

Our house has been under attack by a subversive woodpecker, not once, not twice, but thrice.

The second incident left a whole about the size of a quarter in our house. That was until a squirrel thought that would be the good makings for a nest and ate a fist sized hole into the side of the house (currently covered by a ghetto piece of wood, abandoned building style, until I get some free time and a big ass ladder to fix it).

The most recent incident is at the tippy top of our chimney and is probably the size of a babies fist. I gave that bird fair warning that if he came back, I was gonna bust a cap. Last weekend I found the wife outside through stones at the house.

A few hours later, I was the proud owner of this.

On the same shopping trip I also bought Baklava and attempted to buy some beer.

Unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately) the beer I was after (Sam Adams Chocolate Bock) was unavailable.

I can't help but wonder if the databanks at homeland security don't red flag someone who buys beer, baklava and a pellet gun in the same day.

Monday, November 03, 2008

You wouldn't like my flash drive if it's angry...

I watched the Ed Norton version of The Incredible Hulk this weekend and have to say it was better than expected.

Most of all, I liked some of the subtle nods laced throughout the film, Lou Ferrigno (the original Hulk) as a security guard, the purple pants Liv Tyler buys Norton, and the Starks Industry technology at the beginning (less subtle is when Starks actually shows up at the end).

My biggest bone to pick deals with a scene where Norton is on the run and needs to hide his flash drive. Naturally he eats it. I had to ask, how would a flash drive survive such an environment? No way the data would not be corrupt after that.

Meanwhile, my wife asked, what is that weird noise the dryer is making. I figured it was some loose change, but it sounded more like a roll of pennies than a loose lincoln.

I opened the dryer only to find my flash drive from work. Nice a shiny after a trip through the washer and dryer. Oh Great, there goes MY data.

Anyhow, I just plugged it in to my laptop and low and behold, everything is fine.

Ain't that something?