Saturday, September 22, 2007

C'mon Frito Lay, now you are just messing with me...

Fritos are quite tasty as is, no doubt, but keeping with industry standards and evolving tastes, the continue the quest for the next flavor breakthrough.

And their latest offering is....

Tangy roasted corn Fritos.

Um, let me get this straight. The best you can do is to come up with a corn flavored corn chip?

You are totally fucking with me right?

Cause if not, I really hope someone in the bowels of the Frito Lay HQ is putting the smackdown on R&D right about now.

What did you do? Hire the lead researcher away from Hot Pockets? The same guy who came up with the chicken pot pie hot pocket (the same hot pocket flavored hot pocket that Jim Gaffigan so often rants about)?

Granted, as low rent as a corn flavored corn chip is, at least they are being honest, unlike those sneaky bastards at doritos.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Kickin it old skool

Look, I'll be the first to admit that I care not for the comedic stylings of one Jamie Kennedy, especially after the Malibu's most wanted fiasco.

Needless to say, I had low expectations* for his recent offering, kicking it old skool, but decided to give it a shot as it features Bobby Lee and included Rowdy Roddy Piper in the credits (yet he was no where to be seen in the actual film).

I have to say I was pleasently surprised. Maybe it was seeing all those 80s-tastic toys in the credit or a rat tail less than 5 minutes in, but this movie is worth a watch on the 80s nostalgia alone.

A nice added bonus was discovering the D. Ramirez Remix of Bodyrox's "Yeah Yeah" featured in the dance off between a bunch of face painted freaks called the Misfitz and a You got served kinda crew.

That track is just plain swank!

As a second nice treat, Adolfo "Shabba-Doo" Quinones AKA Ozone from 1984's Breakin was in charge of choreography. RADICAL! I am not sure if it was his doing or not, but there is a deliberate nod to Turbo AKA Bugaloo Shrimp's dancing with the broom rountine.

If not for anything else, watch it for the Hoff cameo.

* I'm talking midget on his knees low

Sunday, September 16, 2007

Stay classy hacksaw...

While at a friend's wedding this past weekend I met an interesting fellow who goes by the name "hacksaw."

We swapped stories about the Boondock Saints and he told me his goal in life is to curb stomp someone. It's good to have goals in life. Right?

Did I say he was an interesting fellow?

During the day he works at the NY Renn Fest.

As a pirate.

During the night we works at some sort of boarding house for Renn. Fest women.

His role must be tied to guest services, as he said inherent to his job duties is to make sure patrons are satisfied with their stay and recently one such lady required his "manly" services in order to be fully satisfied.


Let that sink in for a moment.

Yes, I met a pirate hooker.

Did I mention he was an interesting fellow?

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Rollin down the street, sippin on prune juice..

Aw man, as if I have not faced enough depressing events in the last few weeks, I happened across this.

For you busta's too lazy to be clicking on links, the article linked above is a review of Death Row Record's special 15th anniversary release.

Sweet 6.2 ounce baby jesus in a blanket, tell me it has not been 15 years since Snoop was rockin the airwaves with his johnson baby powder and cool water cologne.

15 years?

Dizamn! That album is older enough for it's learners permit, which means it is only a few months before it starts asking for the keys to the car and all that mess.

Well, I guess it is not all bad. In fact, the album is quite good.

I recently took a trip to AC and while riding up, I was rocking the 2 cd set, which is quite nice. I joked with my passenger about how fun it would be to roll into the Borgata rockin Compton hats, and heading straight to the roulette wheel to bet on black.

I could picture the chain of events so cleary...

Topic15 & Fu (pronounced few): Chip me up for a hundrizzle, fo rizzle and put all that shizzle all on da blackness my nizzle!

Wheel attendent: Um, what are you asking for?

Fu: Damn professor peckerwood! Are you deaf? He said put a hundred on black, you crackajack Mofo!

Wheel attendent: Are you sure?

Topic15 & Fu: WTF you think (as we point to out compton hats).

Yeah that wouldn't be something.

Although I really don't think the Borgata is down with those types of antics.

The whole point of the trip was to celebrate a friend's last weekend as a bachelor. Me and Fu had some time to kill before the guest of honor and the rest of his entourage arrived.

Five hours to be exact.

That is what happens when you roll with a gypsy, 5 hour delays and such. We hit up the corner likka store, played some games at the arcade, had dinner, and then we decided to rock some black 8 action.

As my second attempt, I concur the findings of my initial efforts. Simply delicious. Unexpected and unnaturally tasty.

It is pretty interesting, as the first time I tried a black 8 was with the honorable Burr, and he felt that the OE was gonna ruin the guinness. Fu, conversely, was deathly affraid that the guinness was going to taint the OE. Both were pleasantly pleased with the outcome. I may have to host a black 8 event to share this joy with the world at some point in time.

All in all, the night was good and we stayed out of trouble.

The only real regret I have is betting $40 on the number 8 in roulette, but c'mon, think about it....

$40 on the number 8, which not only happens to be my favorite number but is also black.


The significance of hitting that number would have been chilling to say the least.

Instead it was some jive weak red number that the greek next to me bet on.


Monday, September 03, 2007

One more reason the neighbor's hate me...

This weekend, I decided to "pimp my ride" and by pimp my ride, I mean install the world's most annoying horns.

This video really does not do the horns justice. They sound like running over a nest full of inebriated, and somewhat mentally challenged pterodactyls.