Wednesday, January 31, 2007


Gonna make this quick since I have been up for the past 18hrs...

First, what kind of message is NBC trying to send with Heroes?

Everyone gets cool powers except the brutha. He gets the magical power to break out of jail. WTF kind of racist shite is that? And his son? The power to rob ATM machines. That's just low. TSK TSK!

Second, guess who I caught a rental car shuttle with at 5:20 AM this morning?

Former WWF mid-carder, Hardcore Bob Holly. I was tempted to have him sign my copy of Wrestlecrap (which I just picked up in Texas), but I thought he might have hit me with a spiked bat or maybe his wife sitting next to him. Hardcore Holly is know to run a little hot, so I decided to play it safe and just gawk.

So, as example of how much an 18hr day takes it's toll, while at the research facility I was forced to consume several cans of diet pepsi to keep from falling asleep. This, in turn, triggered multiple trips to the restrooms. On my second trip, I couldn't help but wonder why the bathroom was so much cleaner and well lit than my first trip. Then I asked myself, where the hell did the urinals go. And then it hit me like a rolled up copy of In Touch magazine. I was standing in the ladies room. Thankfully, I was in full drag, so no one noticed.

Ok that's a lie.

Truth be told no one was there.

Sunday, January 28, 2007

Still Life

Here is an interesting short film I saw on a recent flight...

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Hogwarts Idol

Hey kiddos,

Sorry for the recent lack of postage.

I am all caught up in the american idol craze.

No, not really.

But seriously I am.

Anyhow, me and melady were watching the Memphis tryouts when this dude rolled on the seen. He thought he was all undercover, but I totally recognized Voldemort with a tan.

Hey Voldie, don't quit you day job. You can't carry a tune in a bucket.

And while we are on the subject of freaks on TV, the zoo keepers at NBC were kind enough to bring us this...

I went to pillage the NOND website for a picture of the offspring of a dirty old man and a giant pair of eyes (see to the left) and then I saw the clip on the right which indicates that pop sensation Hanson will be making an upcoming appearance. Maybe they will delight us with their update hit, Post-op-MMMMMMBop.

NBC, have you no shame? I certainly hope not. Time to give FOX a run for their money.

Saturday, January 13, 2007

At home Mythbusting...

OK, so my curiosity got the better of me and I decided to run my very own ionic foot cleasing experiment.

The test group was my left and right foot.

The control group was running the set-up sans feet.

Here are the results....

At the five minute mark, the water is starting to look like a vat of low grade whiskey mixed with hobo urine. No discernable difference between the test and control group.

At the ten minute mark strange bubbles start to form on the surface. While both groups show bubbles, the experimental group seems to have a greater proportion.

Five minutes after switching the polarity of the car batter charger (20 minute mark) the top layer begins to look like Roy Roger's BBQ sauce and I begin to crave a holster of fries. Little noticable difference, minus the bubbles. The control group is still lagging behind the diseased jelly fish found floating on the surface of the experimental group.

At the end of the 30 minute run, both groups show similar water color with a mix of sediment that looks like paprika and algea floating on the top of the water.

The experimental group shows more bubbles, but that may be a function of water level. The control group does not have feet to displace water, thus has a lower water level. The bubbles seem to emerge from the point where the ionic plate hits the water down to its end under water. The more of the plate under water, the more bubbles you get.

So who knows for sure what effect this device is having. I am tempted to run a few more trials, including additional test groups such as a pack of hot dogs and maybe a small child.

Thursday, January 11, 2007

Battle Jelly Donut! Battle Jelly Donut!

Some may ask, where have all the updates gone?

Well I retort, no level of mad crazy creativity can compete with this completely true story of Jelly Donut crashing a Lady SOV show to challenge her to a rap battle, only to have that midget decline.

That is the poor state of affairs of current rap music, when someone who considers herself the biggest midget in the game is skerd to battle it out with a pastry.

Friday, January 05, 2007

Sign #1 that it has been a long a$$ week...

Trying to start your car using your house key.

Or maybe that's plain old fashion crazy.

Thursday, January 04, 2007

Ever want to...

Play the guitar and drums at the same time, but want to avoid looking like one of those one man band asshatts?

Let this kat, Andy Mckee show you how it's done!

Pretty freakin' sweet!

Topic15 -- KRS-ONE Connection

Ok, so on the way back from the gym today, I felt my last post comes across as a bit harsh on ole KRS-one.

It is borderline haterade and that's typically not my style.

On the contrary, I rather like his musical creations and furthermore just realized I have my very one 6 degrees of Kevin Bacon type connection with the Blastmaster (AKA KRS-One AKA The teacha AKA KRS ICHIBAN) and it is more than having his We in there/Duck Down cassette single forever stuck in my parents 1984 Blue Pontiac 6000 station wagon.

One of the first friends I made in collage (outside of my roomates) was a jersey girl named Heather D. Heather D. had a high school friend who hooked up with Eric Nies, from MTV's very first and only good season of the real world. Supposedly the kid was a real tool in high school. He then went on to be a famous tool and then a forgotton tool.

One of Eric Nies's roomies was Heather B. Probably remembered by a few hip hop afficionados such as myself for her semi-popular but quite nice track All Glocks down found on her debut album. Her track is not only described as a "Slept on, Boom Bap Classic" (Old School Ran-dee from da bronx, 2005) but was produced by none other than Kenny Parker himself.

Kenny Parker is yet another alias for KRS-One.

So that was only 4 degrees rather than six. Sue me. There are four corners of the globe, four horsemen and connect four. What cool things are there six of?

Yeah I thought so.

K.nowledge R.eigns S.upreme O.ver N.early E.veryone

In case you were wondering what KRS-ONE stood for.

Yup yup, the hip hop mastermind behind hits such as 13 and good and Holding your D!ck like a throttle.

Anyhow, I had to fire this off in response to Pyggie's call to see PM Dawn and felt compelled to steal this from another site and share amongst my people.

Puttin da' hood in Robin Hood.

Start plagarism here ->

Expectations were high - KRS and other conscious rappers from the "Stop the Violence" movement that he helped start were talking about building a revolutionary black army around hip-hop.

KRS was never able to fulfill that overly ambitious goal. In 1992, as his popularity began to wane, PM Dawn front man Prince B questioned KRS's credibility as a hip hop teacher. BDP crashed the next PM Dawn show and proceeded to physically remove them from the stage while the crowd chanted "KRS-ONE! KRS-ONE!" Although this event garnered press and makes for an entertaining story, it left the greater hip-hop community confused about the state of hip-hop and the role of its leaders.

Was KRS really a revolutionary activist, or just a self-centered entertainer concerned about money?

<- End unoriginal bastardness

Beating up PM Dawn? That's a not a new low, that's a cry for help.

Who's next?

A napping Stephen Hawkings?

Or the corpse of Christopher Reeves?

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Just say no

This is your spider.

This is your spider on drugs...

Snake on a cake

No better way to say Happy Birthday than a little snake on a cake action.

For none other than everyone's favorite governess.

Barbara ist hell, intensiv goldgelb, samtweich und vollmundig.

I'm not sure what that means in Swiss German, but I would guess that it describes the beer as having a robust bouquet tasting of hell, expensive goldfish, a sandwich and Lord Voldemorte.

Then again, I don't speak Swiss German, so my interpretation of the text could be way off.

I can attest, however, from personal experience, that Barbara is quite good, one smooth operator, and tastes divine in an Old English 800 sort of way.

If anyone happens to come across this stuff this side of the pond, be sure and grab me a case.