Tuesday, January 08, 2008

Beyond Description

Anyone remember the movie terminator?

Sure you do, the flick where the artificial intelligence of machines eventually becomes so great, they decide they no longer need humans?

Well if you can imagine that movie staring toilets instead of Cyborgs, this is probably how it would begin.

The Honorable Hamm gave me the heads up to a previously unknown, nay, unfathomable world of high performance toilets, of which, Kohler proudly calls itself "The Performance Leader in Global Toilets."

You think this is a joke. You have no idea. I think I will be forever a changed man after viewing that site (like a 2 cups, 1 girl kind of way, only without the horror).

Their crowning jewel is the Class 5 EST Performance Toilet.

When I saw the title, I couldn't decide if the Class 5 is a nod to White Water Rapids or a Klingon Warship. Either apply equally. It looks as if the flushing power of that beast could choke down the most titanic of turds and its 1970's Burt Reynolds good looks of the tank allow it to seemlessly "cloak" into the most swank decor.

No one knows for sure what EST but after watching this video, I would bet it is an acronym for Enormous Shit Transporting. For the love of pete, did they just flush an entire toy chest of Pokemon balls down the drain?

1 comment:

Baby ReRe said...

Hamm = douchebag.