Age is just a number...

Well that's one way to spend the stimulus package...

It's called a Muni.

Muni is a truncation of Mountain Unicycle.

I was passed by one (going in the opposite direction) on the W&OD bike trail while on a 21 mile bike ride yesterday.

I cam damn close to wrecking because I was laughing so hard at the site of that thing.

Seriously?

New York to New Orleans in 4 days, and 1500 miles!

Wow.

Just wow.

It is not too often that something comes along and generates a perverse spark of excitement in your soul the way the american banger rally does.

What in tarnation is the American Banger Rally?

Well it is the demon seed of a bunch of deviant limey's, a test of courage, stupidity, and mechanical know how, but most of all, it sounds like a hell of a lot of fun.

This year's event is titled BABE which stands for Big Apple/Big Easy and will be a 1500 mile rally (not race) from Staten Island to New Orleans over the course of 4 days.

I take it you are not yet impressed.

Well here is the kicker, the maximum value/purchase price of your vehicle is $250, less than the black market rate for a Nintendo Wii.

Think of it as a Cannonball run for hoopties.

Even better, I know a participant in this year's event.

Introducing BT Justice racing!

PJ and posse have pimped a wagon in hommage to Smokey and the Bandit (quite nicely I might add) and are already enroute to the starting line. Wish them luck.

I am now on a mission to assemble a crack team of bangers for the 2009 and find a $250 windowless van for the A-Team, er maybe the B-team.

Obeyma--er, Obama

I tend to avoid political discourse in this blog for 2 reasons. One, I am not the most politically saavy cat on the block and two, people get way too serious about politics (especially non-saavy political cats) and we likes to keep it fun and fresh here at t-15.

However, like most rules, T-15 relishes in breaking them when there is good reason and good reason there is. Obama just picked up a key endorsement from a fine young man from South Carolina. No not John Edwards (although I imagine that was pretty clutch too), rather none other that he who brought us the deliciously disturbing imagery of Obey the giant, Shepard Fairey.

He says this on his site...

I believe with great conviction that Barack Obama should be the next President. I have been paying close attention to him since the Democratic convention in 2004. I feel that he is more a statesman than a politician. He was against the war when it was an unpopular position (and Hillary was for the war at that time), Obama is for energy and environmental conservation. He is for healthcare reform. Check him out for yourself www.barackobama.com.

Interestingly and much in line with his statement above, Fairey has wanted to support Obama through his unique "talents" but he held off until he received blessing from the man himself. The reason for the wait stems from Fairey's concern that his artwork and his interpretation of "use of public space" often bump up against legal grey areas and the last thing he wanted to do is sully the reputation of good ole Biz-rock! Much to his delight, Obama signed off on the venture and was thankful for his endorsement and support. There was an article about it in this weekend's post which outlines the whole thing in much nicer detail than I can here, but I will include the excerpt about the letter...

Fairey rummages around on his desk and produces a letter from Obama himself. "Dear Shepard," the candidate writes. "I would like to thank you for using your talent in support of my campaign. The political messages involved in your work have encouraged Americans to believe they can help change the status quo. Your images have a profound effect on people, whether seen in a gallery or on a stop sign."

Messages. Images. Effect. Someone understands phenomenology. And the thing about stop signs? "He's kind of endorsing graffiti," Fairey says, "isn't he?"

Cool stuff. Almost dare I say it, Bill Clinton balancing the budget and still being a freak in the bed cool.

And despite the poltical purpose of the art, good ole Shep still sneaks in a little Obey the Giant action with Obama's lapel pin.

Now just because someone you like, likes a candidate, that is no good reason to vote for them.

You should vote for someone YOU relate to, someone who shares your beliefs and champions your values.

So as much as I like Fairey, his endorsement is not enough on it's own.

I need proof that he is a thinking man who can see potential for greatness and execute against it.

Early on, I saw similarities between Barack and The Rock, in terms of the speaking styles, and even to a lesser degree their looks. I know the WWF consitituents will be of great importance this election and I really thought it would be cool if he could somehow co-opt the rock's catch phrase --"Can you smell what the Rock is cooking?" And then I saw this.

Oh SNAP!

If he can pull my ideas out of the ether like that, well say no more. I can dig it.

Hell or High Watermelon

Now I know by the sounds and looks of the can above, I am sure many of you are probably shuddering in disgust of the prospect of watermelon infused beer, but I can honestly say that stuff is way too good. Disturbingly good. I have a can in my fridge and I don't know how long it is going to stay in there good.

I sampled this bevvie this past weekend at Savor, a beer and food pairing event that featured 30 or so of this countries swankest craft brewers. The event was built around the concept of matching beer with food to either tease out or tone down certain flavors.

It was a hell of a good time. Besides being able to endlessly sample all sorts of food and beer, we also got to see Jim Koch (founder of Sam Adams) speak. If you ever have the opportunity to see the man speak, take it. He is a real cowboy and riot to hear speak. He talks of the dark ages of american brewing in the 80s and describes himself as a member of a band of rebel forces hellbent on taking down the deathstar of Miller, Bud and Coors and the relatively tastebud numbing swill they produce. He did not trash talk their product, rather he said that ice cold refreshment of light ales is one of the nicest properties of beer, he just doesn't make that kind of beer. Rather he brews his family recipe from the 1800s, during the 1st golden age of american craft brewing. Beers that are designed to have complex tastes which are meant to be enjoyed (rather than merely seeking cold refreshment).

All in all it was a great day.

Oh and the watermelon beer? Only available in San Francisco at the moment. Destined to reach the east coast in about 2 years. Hopefully. Looks like I will need to really make that can last afterall.

It was formerly called "Lumps of Delight"...

Ok, I am going to resist the urge to "go there" with this post and keep it high brow for a Friday.

Lumps of delight is an English reference to Turkish Delight. Ever since seeing the snotty brother request a batch from the ice queen, I have been curious as to what in the heck that marshmallowly looking stuff is.

We I can conclusively say, it ain't marshmallowy, but it is delightful. It is like a giant orange slice dipped in powdered sugar (instead of the knobby granular sugar coating you typically see) and like lucky charms, it is magically delicious.

A second bennie from taking the Lebanese Cooking class was that the class took place in the basement of the Lebanese Taverna/Market and we got to load up on a variety of ethnic groceries, including but not limited to a big ass box of Turkish Delight.

They had a 2nd variety flavored with Rosewater, which is quite popular in parts of Asia and the Middle East. Personally, I will pass. I imagine it would pretty much equate to eating a bowl full of pot-pouri from Grandma's bathroom.

Where art thou, Topic15?

I know it has been a while, but there has been a lot going on in the T-15 clan these past few weeks, none of which is exactly blog-worthy, least not blog worthy in the smart ass stylings this blog prides itself upon.

Then I saw last night's episode of american idol which featured an appearance by form idol winner Fantasia. The performance was pointless except for a shot of Simon's face when he got a good look at Fantansia.

Since winning, Fantasia has kept busy making albums and climbing ugly trees and falling out of them, only to hit every limb on the way down. I tried to do a google image search to find a picture from last night's performance but came up short. As a proxy I did a google image search on chupacabra and well that is a fairly good, albiet slightly slender approximation.

In other news, I saw Iron Man and as Ron Burgandy would put it, that movie is the balls. I would have like to have heard Black Sabbath a bit earlier than the closing credits, but that is really my only critique.

In other, other news, me and the wifey took a cooking class at the Lebanese Taverna last night and who knew that Burghul Pilaf would be so damn good! Besides learning how to prep and cook a few dishes, we also got some good knife handling techniques, so watch out now! My prison shanking technique has just leveled up to one step closer to Samurai.

Oh Dat's Nice

It's sorta lika a hot pocket flavored hot pocket...

but waaaaaaaaay cooler...

Yes, someone figured out how to cram a fully functional ninetendo into a nintendo cartridge.

That is freaking awesome!

You can read more about it here.

And it you were hoping for a more literal hot pocket related post, go here.

Ultimo Grosso

Amongst this weekend's adventures, I found myself wandering through a World Market, suffering from low blood sugar driven urges to buy stuff I have no business buying.

Two examples included a Gummi bear the size of my fist as well as a bag of foreign candy called Silky Nuts. INSERT TASTELESS JOKE HERE.

I also bought some Hummus to go, which is a single serving stored in an odd triangular pouch, identical to those used for those minute maid popsicles.

Despite my delusions, I DID NOT BUY the bag of Kewpie Mayonnaise. I couldn't tell for sure if the bag in the bag was shaped like an actual Kewpie doll, but given that it was imported from Japan, I am not totally ruling the idea out.

I think I may have found a gold mine for Christmas 2008 Stocking Stuffers. Nothing says happy birthday baby Jesus like a bag full of mayo from the land of the rising sun.

babies are the new black

Van damn! People are getting knocked up right and left round here.

Did Jodeci re-release Forever my lady?

It matters not! Babies are on the way, and if there is one thing I know, luck favors the prepared and here is some SOLID advice rooted in pseudo-scientific fact...

I am not saying anything, BUT, I did see some interesting findings with regard to the relationship between playing video games and deviant behavior.

A recent study showed that excessive playing of violent video games EXCLUSIVELY was a marker of tendency of increased aggression, violence, and anti-social behavior.

Interestingly enough, NOT PLAYING ANY video games was also a similar marker.

So what does that mean? Well, quite simply, it is your duty as a responsible parent to not only provide opportunity and access to video games, but a well stocked, wide library of games as well. So for even Grand Theft Auto game you will need a guitar hero 3 to ensure a well rounded video game environment.

Proper parenting dictates that you really need to go get that Wii just as much as you need that crib and stroller.

Lock it!

The Nobody post from a few days ago spawned some interesting wikipedia findings with regard to the history of locking.

The beginning of Locking can be traced to one man, Don Campbell. In the late 1960s he put together several fad dances adding moves of his own (notably the "Lock") when performing.
The original lock was created by accident: Don Campbell couldn't do a move called the Funky Chicken and stopped at a particular point. He wasn't able to perform it fluently, for he couldn't remember which step to take next. (Even the acting towards the audience was of spontaneous nature: people started laughing at Don because of his unfamiliar moves, whereas he started pointing at them.) These halts soon became popular as Don added them into his performances.

The resulting dance was called Campbellocking, which was later shortened to Locking.

In the early 1970s this set off a movement of Locking dance groups. The most notable was when Campbell formed the dance group The Lockers [T15 note: this is the group in the commercial] and set the foundation for locking dance and clothes style.

Now you know what it is, here is how you doooooz it...

Alpha/applejax/Oilwells --One leg is kicked forward from a crouching position while the upper body is lent backwards supported by both hands.

Bop-top --a bop top is where you make a 70s face step with it and some hand gesture

Box split --A semi-split done with one leg bent, which enables the dancer to get up again in one swift movement.

Crazy horse or Whichaway --Altering kicks to the sides with right and left legs, upper body stationary with arms in front as if holding reins .

Funky Broadway --Moving the feet from a 'V' position to an upside-down 'V' position, while moving to the side. The body generally lags behind.

Funky Chicken --Feet move from side to side with small kicks each way, while moving the body up and down. (This is different from the James Brown Funky Chicken.)

Groove Walk or Rock-Steady or The Bump ---Stepping forward, the hip of your front foot is thrusted towards the front foot, brought back, dipped forward towards the front foot as you take a step with your back foot (sometimes used to get across the dance floor with some funk in your step)

Hop kick --A high, quick kick of one leg while standing straight on the other.

Knee Drop -- Drop to the knees with knees pointing inwards (into a W shape leg position).

Leo Walk --A funky two step where the first is an exaggerated step in a particular direction, followed by sliding of the second foot along the floor to meet the first

Lock --Bending slightly forward with arms forming a circle downward, as if lifting a heavy object.
Pacing --A quick punch to the side, with hand starting just below the shoulder. (Fist should still be open.)

Stomp the cockroach --Going down on one knee, with the other leg pointing out to the side, then pounding the floor.

Scooby doo --Taking a stationary forward step, then making a Lock

Scooby walk --Walking forward, stopping and bending knees outward with each step

Scootbot or scoobop --Skipping while making the motion of an exaggerated step to the left or right.

The Skeeter Rabbit-- a kick and shiffle hop move

Stop-and-go/Busstop--Taking a step back and to the left/right, then forward again.

Uncle Sam points --A quick, extended pointing gesture, usually held for a few seconds for emphasis

Wrist roll or Twirl --Twirling wrists while moving arms up and down in pace.

Barracuda

I know some of you don't want to deal with the hot tranny mess of watching that whole video from a few posts below, so here is a picture that basically sums it up...

I swear, no photoshop.

Nobody!

Citizen Kane has nothing on this masterpiece...

And then there is this...

Would you believe me if I said Heart dropped by American Idol's Give Back special to grace us with a little Barracuda?

Probably.

But what if I told you halfway through the song that Neo-Yoko Ono skeezer Fergie crashes the party and starts doing one-handed cartwheels?

Would you believe me then?

I doubt it. Heck I know I didn't believe it when I heard it. But unfortunately for us all here is the proof...

Then there is irony and just plain right...

RIP Chuck.

There is irony and there is just plain wrong

Ok now it is twice that I have witnessed a scene that has caused me to pause and think, that is just plain wrong, and trust me, after 12 years of Catholic school, it takes quite a bit to rattle my cage.

Leaving the gym I saw a car drive away with special Cancer Awareness plates (complete with matching pink ribbon magnets) and a tag that read something to the effect of SRVIVR.

Now here is where things go wrong, really wrong. The car was being driven by someone smoking, smoking with the windows up nonetheless.

HOW THE HELL CAN YOU GO AROUND CHAMPIONING CANCER AWARENESS AND THE HOTBOX A FREAKING PARLIMENT?

Who still smokes?

Neh, who still smokes with the windows up?

Nehmore, who still smokes with the windows up on the warmest day of the year so far?

Nehfurthremore, who still smokes with the windows up on the warmest day of the year so far while trying to raise awareness of Cancer?

Granted there may be a difference between lung cancer and breast cancer, but the big C is the big C.

This whole scene is like trying to raise awareness of the energy crisis by holding a 3200 mile cross country race between a Hummer, a suburban, and an Excursion.

Putting the wee wee in Wii

It looks like R. Kelly may be getting his own game for the Wii.

Dear Santa...

Send it! Send it NOW! I'll even put the tree back up.

Writers Strike

Thank goodness it is over, but did you ever wonder what those creative types did over the weeks when they were not busy devising plots for Lost or Heros?

Now I can not conclusively prove this, but the data in my Spam inbox suggests that they kept the lights on by coming up with and selling engaging taglines for spam.

The uncreative crap titles such as "Add 3 inches overnight" and "Size DOES matter" have been replaced with new and exciting offers including:

Enjoy a sizzling love life with your new instrument.

Whip out the anaconda in your pants and watch her eyes light up with excitement.

Having a larger rocket in your pocket gives you more confidence both in life and around women.

Imagine if you could have a 9 inch tool in your pants - NOW YOU CAN.

Very nice random emailers, very nice.