Monday, May 08, 2006

Ring of Fire

No longer only the name of a Johnny Cash song, but also the name of a home grown drinking game that in once played WILL change the way you look at the world.

The by product of liberal consumption of South Paw Light and Guiness compounded with several restaurant quality deviant minds, this game emerged like a phoenix from the ashes of several rounds of beer pong.

After a heated discussion, the ring of fire council was formed and guidelines for future participation were established. We shyed away from rules, because this game is most appealing to miscreants who pride themselves on breaking them, thus their development would ultimately be as pointless as playing see-saw with Kristy Alley.

So now, ladies and gentlemen, on behalf of the 2006 Myrtle Beach Ring of Fire Council, I present to you the guiding principles and corresponding examples behind Ring of Fire.

First, develop a list of "drinking punishments" and write each one on a piece of paper, then fold it up and place it in a hat. The exact number of punishments doesn't matter greatly, but you want a decent number. We used 8, since the number 8 is great according to the Count. You want some variation in the punishments, but they should all be attainable, and hopefully within the confines of the law. Of our eight we had one light punishment and one really really evil one. They were, presented in level of severity, as follows:

1. Eat a pretzel (AKA the one free pass)
2. Give a shotgun and take a shot gun (you shotgun a beer and elect someone else to do the same)
3. Funnel a beer
4. Irish Car Bomb
5. South Paw Bomb (Irish car bomb made with South Paw light instead of Guiness)
6. Flip for shots (you have 1 chance to flip a cup, if you hit, everyone else drinks a shot, if you miss you drink a shot)
7. Wine shooters (5 glasses, each with 2 shots of wine, must be finished in 5 minutes)
8. Mat shot (each player pours a beverage of their choice into the loser's cup, thus with five players, you end up with a cup filled 5 different drinks)

Next, take 12 keg cups and place each on upside down on a table. Hide a ping pong ball under one cup and then array them in form a circle. Have someone else spin the table around a few times. Then have someone else do the same.

Now the stage is set. Grab a deck of cards and gather around a second table or sit on the floor. Deal everyone a card and low card loses. In case of multiple low cards, a game of war settles the score. Loser has to visit the ring of fire and pull a cup (if the loser lost at war, they pull 2 cups, 3 cups if there was a war on top of a war). If the cup is empty, they remove it from the mix and the game continues (another round of cards is dealt).

When someone removes a cup and finds the ball, play Johnny Cash's "Ring of Fire" and have them draw a punishment and take it like a man or eastern European woman. Afterwards, remove that punishment from the mix and reset the ring of fire for another round. Continue playing until all punishments have been issued.

I know it doesn't sound like much, but with the right element, it's pretty much the greatest game of all times.


Anonymous said...

The single greatest game of all time, all time!!!!!

Anonymous said...

I fell into a burning ring of fire... and my head did not thank me for it in the morning...