The website described the course as most flat. I have come to learn that flat is a relative term and that Pamela Anderson is mostly flat relative to Dolly Parton.
Anyhow, here's a brief rundown...
Here is my hella-fly bike...
Peep my pimp art zip tied on that mug, along with the pink horn and vanillaroma air fresheners on the handlebars. In all, It cost like $80 (bike included) at target. At that price, I had doubts it would see the finish line, but the ole thundercat did just fine.
My team name was Chuck Norris.
I biked the first leg (My teammate, D. Magical ran). This leg was like 1.5 miles, and seemed to be mostly up hill, minus crossing a river (no not on a bridge, I actually carried the bike through the river...well maybe it was a creek). At the end I dropped my bike only to be greeted by a 4 ft wall to be jumped.
I ran the next leg (D. Magical biked). It was long, hot and muddy and we had to climb a cargo net at the end.
Leg3 had a real bitch's bitch of a hill and this crazy inflatable thing you had to scale like 20 ft on one side and slide down the other.
Leg4 was forgetable probably due to the terror inducing balance beam waiting at the end. I managed to cross it successfully without falling and hitting me twig and berries.
Leg5 was like the Shamrock vs Ortiz fight from a few weeks ago, over before it ever got started.
The final obstacle was this big nasty mud pit you had to belly crawl through. It looked like poo, smelled like poo, and according to Occam's Razor, in all likelihood was poo.
D. Magical and I emerged from the other side as chocolate dipped gangstas.
We joined some other friends from team Dirty Dolphin and crushed some red hook and celebrate finishing.
There were a few other interesting team names in the mix...
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Ha! We stole your bike!
Don't Call Me Mary
Chafed Thighs
Money Shots
Crippled and Crazy
Dirty Sanchez
millivanilli
Flaps of Ham
Here for the Beer
1 bald 1 fat
In Your Eye
Phatphucks
Fud Muckers
Time to start thinking of the next great adventure.
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