Sunday, March 05, 2006

The energetic capacity of the human body

Here is a short article I authored back in grad school when I had skills greater than an 8th grade writer.


Understanding the true energetic capacity of the human body is rather difficult to fully grasp, much less explain in the face of modern science. However, I am sure that at some point of their lives almost everyone has dragged their feet across the carpet in a dry environment only to deliver a minute electric shock to a person or object. Using this example it is easy to understand the body’s ability to build up, store, and release an energetic charge. I’ll argue that this energetic phenomena is not limited to static electricity, but can also be accomplished with other forms of energy.

Up till now I have witnessed several remarkable occasions where an emotionally charged person has come into contact with an electrical appliance only to short it out. The most recent was the mildest example. I had just gotten off the phone with my girlfriend, ex-girlfriend as of that conversation. I felt emotionally drained to the point that I can only describe the physical sensation as being akin to wearing drenched clothes. Everything thing seemed quite heavy and thick, and as soon as I touched my light switch, the light bulb blew out. Admittedly light bulbs do blow out, but the examples get better.

One summer while home from graduate school I was watching my nephew along with my dad. My nephew is an absolute dynamo of energy, and generally seeks to be the center of attention as most 5 year olds do. Well it just so happened that a television program on the philosophy of martial arts was coming on. These are two of my favorite interests, and as I result I really wanted to watch the show. As soon as my attention shifted from my nephew to the tv he stopped coloring and stood directly between my line of vision and the television. I made a deal to play with him as soon as the show ended, as long as he would let me watch the show in peace. Before I knew it he was turning my fan on and off repeatedly, which proved to be quite distracting. Again I offered a deal, that he could leave the fan on if he was hot, otherwise he would have to turn it off and leave it off. With a frustrated “FINE” he wrenched the knob on the fan to the off position, and at the exact same moment my tv set blew up. And it’s not like it was a piece of shit, it was a decent little magnavox set.

The third example rivals the second in impressiveness. In high school I was in a rather unhealthy relationship filled with arguments and conflicts. After one especially tumultuous argument "the warden" got mad at the fact that I ignored her childish temper tantrum. In her characteristic vindictive style she decided to teach me a lesson by storming upstairs and shutting the lights off to leave me alone in the dark basement. Well no sooner than she touched the light switch, did I see an actual electrical current travel along the ceiling straight to the ceiling fan/light apparatus, which completely shorted out.

UPDATE...the most recent example comes from just last week. We have had exceptionally dry weather and as a result I shocked the sh!t out of my self when I got out of my car every day. Twice on wednesday.

Ok, so obviously I've suffered a bit of intellectual atrophy in terms of my writing capabilities, but at the sake of gaining near german efficiency. While the fourth, (most recent) story is most likely rated about 6 grades lower by the kinkaid flieshman (sp?) standards, I told it in 1.5 sentences and let's face it, once out of the academic environment no one cares for fancy words and excessive jibba-jabba (especially MR. T).

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