I know we have just come off from spending time apart, but I really think it is time that we go our separate ways.
Now, now, don't go getting all upset, really it is for the best. After all, things have been going downhill for quite sometime, and I am struggling to deal with some of your habits. You're a great show really. It's all about me and my lack of patience and demanding personality and it is not fair to expect you to change just to fit my needs.
It has become quite evident that your free spirited nature (read as: aimlessness and in ability to commit) does not fit with my need for stability or purpose (read as: time to answer some damn questions...like where the hell is that radio transmission coming from? or Why is there a cable going into the ocean? Or who was the freak with the eyepatch?).
We will always have the good times, like the first time you forced a new character into the line-up, only to blow him up during sweeps week. As Hurley said, "Dude, you got a little Artzed on you." And who could forget the Dharma branded sharks among all of the other fun easter eggs you used to provide. Ah those were good times.
I am sure we can still be "friends" but I think the healthy decision to make is to see other shows. To be totally honest, I have been courted by Heroes and that show where Anthony Bourdain travels around the world to make fun of people and eat gross food.
So, goodbye for now.