Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Deviant Tendencies

Ok, so more examples of just how simple it could be to be a restaurant quality A-hole.

While on my recent international travels, I saw no shortage of folks toting around the new Harry Potter.

I also saw no shortage of online hub-bub about spoilers and how hard it was for folks to try and keep it real and save themselves for all of JK's twists in the final chapter of the scarred wizard.

Everytime I saw one of these muggles, I really had to fight the urge to start spouting off random bits of misinformation such as "RON IS GAY!" or "VOLDEMORT IS HARRY'S REAL FATHER!"

But thankfully, for them, my medula oblongata works like a charm and keeps these jack-assery impulses in check.

Thankfully for me as well.

You see, while waiting in line at the border check point in Texas, my mental gears started turning in their twisted ways and my mind was flooded with the sorts of things you probably don't want to say to the customs/immigration officer when he waves you up for inspection.

Things like:

(2) Scream Hilary in 2008 whoooooooo!
(3) Stating that Texas is full of steers and queers and I don't see any horns on you
(4) Declaring Toby Keith is a communist
(5) Yelling Ozzie was right (ps he peed on the alamo and was banned from texas for several years)

Before deivant thought #6 cropped up, a booming announcement came over the PA stating something to the effect that jokes or inappropriate comments at the airport would result in fines and imprisonment, and prison in Texas means a trip to see ole sparky.

Daaaaaaaamn, I am glad my funky cold medula was on point that day.

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