The Hostess with the mostess...

I swear, this post will not do this story justice, but here goes...

In what can only be described as a near to third world experience, last weekend me and melady took a field trip to Ikea.

What's so third world about Ikea? Do they make their Swedish influenced furniture in some developing country? Maybe. I can't say for sure, but what I can say is that a trip to the Hostess Outlet in PG county is about as close as you can get to buying twinkies in Egypt.

A few observations/ questions...

(1) They had two check out lines. Do they ever get that busy that they need to open a second register? Perhaps. The line was at least 3 deep when we were buying our assortment of discount, past their expiration date pies and cupcakes.

(2) Who determines the expiration date of a Yodel? And is that any different than that of a sno-ball or zinger?

(3) Does the cashier get an employee discount? My god, if it where any cheaper, they would pay you to take the stuff.

(4) The family in front of me paid in food stamps. There was also a brand new Hummer on DUBS out front. I was going to lose it if that was their car. It wasn't, but for sure someone in the store was driving that beast. And as we left a pimped caddy rolled in. Who exactly shops at this place anyhow?

(5) For a mere $3 you can buy something like 6 pies. Each pie contains roughly 600 calories. Calorically speaking, that is like 2 days of food which I could knock out after a night of popeyes and 40's. That is dangerous with a capital dangerous!

(6) Someone came in asking if they sold beer. Beer and snack cakes.

(7) You don't even want to know how much wonderbread you can buy for $5.

(8) There was a 4 blade ceiling fan with only 3 blades and they were still running it. I am not sure, but I think that might be a bit of a safety concern. Anyone know if you can suture a gash with a ho-ho?