Alright, I was really hoping to weave all of my favorite highlights together in a Ken Jennings Mental floss kind of way.
I made a few degrees of connections and then fell short of including all of the relevant stories.
I guess that's why he's the mack daddy of jeopardy and I am not, but here goes...
Like all good blog posts, it starts and ends with pirates. Fripp Island was founded by one John "coconut monkey head" Fripp to keep spanish pirates at bay.
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While on the island for the wedding last week, I saw an old pirate lady attempt to hold up one of the attendees, JB, proclaiming "Give me your billfold" as she jabbed him with her plastic sword.
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On another day, after a few hot rounds on the beer pong table, the very same JB, infused with swagger and braggadocio, decided to play the next round with a thug jug of chianti. Cue up the bad ideas jeans commercial. The resulting antics can only be described as a restaurant quality shit show. Headbutting shutters and obscene sandwhich artistry followed and led to the decision to wheel JB away on a golf cart, at which time he thought he was being taken off to sleep with the fishes sopranos style.
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Speaking of golf carts & JB, while shuttling us back from the bar, SC claimed he could run faster than the cart. Turns out he was wrong. We pulled ahead of him quickly as he started to scream that the road was too rocky for his bare feet. We kept on going just because we could. It was all very forrest gump like.
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Part of forrest gump was filmed on fripp island. Tom Hanks starred in Forrest Gump. Tom Hanks is an A-hole.
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A-hole is just 2 letters from C-hole, and I played my first game of cornhole this weekend. Described as a cross between horseshoes and sodomy, this game is sweeping the nation, thanks in part to things like the LED cornhole ramps which allow you to play at night. The lights aid in the ability to see at night.
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Pirates often wore eyepatches, not because they were one eyed-freaks, but to allow for better visual acuity when transistion from the sun lit deck, to the darkend bowels of their ships.
Pirate to pirate.
Argggggh!
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