Sunday, January 15, 2006

Bum Wine Challenge 2k4

Lest any one forget....

Rather than heed the advice found on this site, three colleagues and I sought to recreate the challenge sans the dawg.

We procurred bottles of the Wild I, T-Bird, Night Train, and Cisco along with 2 cases of PBR for good measure and palate cleansing.

Total cost $25.05.

In a measure of further foolishness, we added a time challenge where the first person finished was the "winner." In some rare cases, the winner is actually the loser. Our Wild I challenger finished his bottle of grape/sand flavored libations in record time. He was shortly thereafter found sending obscene messages via email to the cwine (makers of Wild i) website. Eventually he was the first to pass out and claim his prize (a pair of cheezeit sunglasses). Later he served as a chips-n-salsa bar.

The T-bird contestant became wildly out of control, suffering from delusions that he had become a giant pair of breasts. He proceed to slap everyone in sight until passing out. He now eats but can not get full, believing the bird ate a whole in his stomach.

The night train contestant also suffered from a mild case of paranoia and delusions. He was convinced we had robbed him of his poker earnings when in fact he was merely sitting on them.

I had the distinct pleasure of tussling with liquid crack AKA cisco. The makers of this product may be evil, but at least they are honest. I can personally concur, that it is most definitely "NOT A WINE COOLER." I finished last and suffered the punishment of shotgunning a PBR. As far as punishments go, that is the equivalent of giving someone a "time-out" after being beat with a sock full of quarters for 2 and a half hours.

I'd like to say that we all learn from our mistakes, but am inclined to believe that as soon as my friend regrows his stomach, we will be back for the 2nd annual BWC.

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