Monday, January 23, 2006

One more thing...

Is it wrong to wish death upon a child?

On the plane ride to Paris, I had the distinct pleasure of sitting about 6 rows away from a 6 year old child who whined incessantly for the 6 hour flight. And not just any ole whining, whining in french. Needless to say sleep was limited at best.

Now anyone programmed from Lost probably picked up on the connection here, but for the less astute...

6 year old child, 6 rows away, 6 hour flight... it was obviously the devil, so while generally wishing death upon a child is not socially acceptable, I think it's ok in this case. Maybe I will give some beggars some money just to be on the safe side.

Besides, you really have to be careful about what you wish on other people. Or at least I do.

There was this onetime in 3rd or 4th grade that we got this new student in class and he was a really uppity prick for being the new kid. One recess he was showboating on the b-ball courts I thought to myself, that kid really needs to be checked. Then WHAM the left wing of a Cessna fell out of the sky and severed his legs. Ok, that didn't happen, but he did miss a pass and got hit in the head with football, fell over, hit his head and lost a tooth.

Then in 6th grade I transferred to a new school. Knowing the consequences of being a new kid and acting up, I tried my best to keep a low profile. Unfortunately, trouble has a habit of finding me. What made matters worse was trouble came in the form of a loud mouthed 5th grader. Can you believe the balls of these kids? A 5th grader talking unprovoked smack to his elders? Well I returneth the smacktalk with a bit of the ole evil eye. Two weeks later he was diagnosed with brain cancer. I shiteth you not.

I think this evil eye power is hereditary. Mostly from my dad's side. A few years ago, well more like five or six years ago, there was a similar experience. I was home for the summer from grad school and working as a mechanics helper. The mechanic had to go away for a few days and I promised to take care of his business in his absence. During this time, I had to deliver the title for a car to an auction for the mechanic's neighbor. I did, but this neighbor wasn't too bright and for some reason thought I didn't do what I promised to do. He called my dad with his panties in a twist and started talking some out-of-pocket shit, grilling him and general being disrespectful. I don't know what my dad said to him, but I do know that a short while later the dude collapsed in his garage and died from some freakish undiscovered tumor.

So, that's all I have to say about that.

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