OHM

I stumbled across a post feature the art of Tomas Schneider on a tech blog. I like this piece but some of his other works are really twisted (in a good way).

It's interesting to read about his source of inspiration which he describes as "a tiny space between the conscious realm and subconscious sleep, the wake of life, or the slipstream of consciousness." He also mentions this space as being linked to the origins of mythologies and where the mind slips into dreamtime which makes me wonder if there is not a connection between his work and that of the aborigines.

"Aboriginals believe in two forms of time; two parallel streams of activity. One is the daily objective activity, the other is an infinite spiritual cycle called the "dreamtime", more real than reality itself. Whatever happens in the dreamtime establishes the values, symbols, and laws of Aboriginal society. It was believed that some people of unusual spiritual powers had contact with the dreamtime." quote from the film The Last Wave (courtesy of Wikipedia).

Some of you thought the birdhouse was a joke...

Well the jokes on you! Cause sho'nuff I did build a birdhouse.

Let me 'splain...

For whatever reason, our townhouse is like the filet mignon of wood, for woodpeckers and a while back, woody bored a quarter-sized hole into the side of our house. That wasn't so bad, but then a squirrel thought, hey that looks alike a nice place to live, a bit small, but you know, with some renovations it might not be so bad. So the squirrel chewed a fist sized hole into the opening and decided to put in a back door for good measure.

My first solution was to temporarily fill the hole with expansion foam. I did. And the squirrel chewed it's way back in. My next solution, was a bit redneck, but acceptable in the short term. I simply hammered a piece of wood over the hole, like boarding up an abandoned squirrel flop house. I figure that would be ok until I had time to fix the problem the right way.

Well that was like a year ago. On my priority of things updating my blog supersedes home repairs, and you see how often I get around to updating this thing nowadays. In the summer, I thought, it's too hot to deal with this. Now we are in winter I am saying, that is the perfect summer project. After downing a big ole cup of piping hot realism, I decided that chances are good that this fix may not happen for quite a while. At the same time, I am really tired of that hillbilly piece of wood hanging on the side of the house. I am sure the neighbors are luvin what it does to our block's property values. Hell, I might as well get a camaro and set it up on blocks out front.

A few weeks ago, ghetto genius struck and I decided on a slightly more elegant solution. Much less redneck, far more rugged outdoorsy...obviously still in the same family, but far distant cousins, sort of like how Unilever owns both Ben & Jerry's and Slimfast.

Readers of topic15, I proudly present the great birdhouse cover up of 2008!

What did you do on your birthday topic 15?

Ate some cake, made a birdhouse, hung out with this guy...

We went to the fantastic national harbor and saw the fantastic Kooza. Randomly, this robot guy named Heimloss would pop up out of the stage and hold up an announcement or just look around. Well that's the french canadian circus for ya! Good fun nonetheless.

Ok, so I may have embellished the status of National Harbor. I think it has the potential to be awesome, but right now, it is basically a swank hotel/convention center, a swank parking garage, a swank harley dealership and a swank bunch of "coming soon" signs. Probably worth a revisit come summer though.

And then there's this...

Counter Strike vs. Van Gogh Mash Up

Wow, now this is an interesting example of the application of a Mash-up to art and video games. It is a custom map someone developed for the game Counter Strike based on the artwork of Van Gogh.

Origins

Pretty cool clip from the graffiti documentary "Bomb it!" where Shepard Fairey discusses the origin of the Obey the Giant campaign...

You can tell I am tough by the coffee that I drink: Questionable Brand Extension Part II

While doing some doo rag shopping at a local Harley Dealership, I spotted yet another blatant exploitation of a strong brand to push a totally unrelated product, Harley Davidson Coffee.

Can someone please enlighten me on WTF bikes and coffee have to do with one another?

A lil ML History...

After seeing this...


I decided to see if I could find any interesting tidbits on Colt. I came up short on that end, but did find another interesting read here.

Below is my favorite passage...

The leading malt liquor brand at the time was Olde English, which was kind of Olde School, and Wessinger sought a way to appeal to drinkers who wanted something other than their father's malt liquor. He created St. Ides. Tropical breezes blew the palm trees pictured on the St. Ides label and gave it a kind of St. Barts, St. Kitts, West Indies attitude. (In addition, the name held meaning for the devout; St. Ides was a fifth-century Irish nun who worked miracles and foretold the future, although probably not this one.)

In the late 1980's, Wessinger heard Hip Hop artists singing about malt liquor in their songs. Singing about Olde English, "O E," now several owners away from its birthplace in Duluth, and about his own St. Ides, "the S.T. Crooked I." But Wessinger did not succumb to corporate thinking, which would have said, "Let's have our ad agency produce radio commercials that sound like this Hip Hop." Wessinger was smarter. He commissioned real Hip Hop stars to create the spots, from the sidewalk up.

The resulting songs, recorded and played in the early 1990's, are the stuff of legend. As one writer noted, they "blew the funk up." Artists included King Tee, DJ Pooh, E-Swift and Snoop Doggy Dogg. The work increased St. Ides sales by 25%, and incidentally made St. Ides the malt liquor of choice among white college students. But black and white malt liquor drinkers were not the only listeners. Almost from the beginning, community leaders and public health advocates were outraged by the lyrics. O'Shea Jackson, rapping as Ice Cube, urged his listeners to, "Get your girl in the mood quicker, get your jimmy thicker, with St. Ides malt liquor."

What a product promise! The community could only stand about four more years of that. At one point, public outcry led to the federal government's suspending all St. Ides advertising for three days. That showed 'em! The campaign ended after production of 30 radio spots. The use of sex to sell malt liquor would continue, but Ice Cube had planted the flag on a peak that might never be scaled again.

(Lost in the hue and cry was the fact that Ice Cube's lyric was clearly a lettered homage to poet Ogden Nash, the 20th century American master of light verse, whose poem "Reflections on Ice-Breaking" reads in its entirety:

Candy
Is dandy
But liquor
Is quicker.
For bringing a 1940's New Yorker magazine feel to the malt liquor milieu, we bid hail to thee, Ice Cube.)

While some Hip Hop artists were getting paid to sell St. Ides, others were not amused. Carleton Ridenhour, rapping as Chuck D with the group Public Enemy, denounced malt liquor in his song ''One Million Bottlebags.'' His very public stand against malt liquor made the appearance of his voice in a 1992 St. Ides radio spot all the stranger. The producer of a St. Ides ad had sampled a snippet of Chuck D from ''Bring the Noise.'' Even though the spot was withdrawn from airplay as soon as the sampling was protested, Mr. Chuck filed a $5 million lawsuit against the McKenzie River Corporation. ''It's unconscionable,'' noted the rapper's attorney, Lisa Davis. ''He has taken a very strong position against malt liquor, and these ads make him look like a hypocrite.'' In the end, a seven-figure settlement smoothed Chuck's ruffled feathers.

SUPER-ROO

The jokes on you!

Well technically I guess the joke is on me.

Let me 'splain.

For whatever reason, everytime I go to Borders I feel compelled to root through the bargain book bins. Perhaps it is because I feel that all books deserve a good home. Perhaps it is because I am a cheap bastard. Either way it is just how I roll.

On my last trip I found a real gem....Adult Only Practical Jokes and an absolute steal for a mere $4.99. I figured it would be a great resource in trying to come up with some good pranks for around the office.

Unfortunately, there was good reason this book was marked down. The 90% practical jokes are bloody awful. And the last 10% are a toss up between poor jokes and just plain being cruel.

Here are a few examples...

The Welshman
Pretend to be Welsh by putting coal dust behind your ears, talking jibberish and singing all the time.

Mondays
Brighten up dull Monday mornings at work by concealing a bottle of Vodka in your jacket pocket and taking sigs from it at regular intervals throughout the day.

Water Anybody
Ask a friend if they would like a drink of water, but instead give them PowerAde.

As if you couldn't guess those are example of the awful ones.

Some of the cruel ones include...

Blind Relatives
Increase blind relatives utility bills by switching all of their lights on.

Shocking
Run a wire from one of the spark plug wires at the distributor cap through the firewall, under the carpet/floor map, and under the driver's seat. Bare 1/4 inch of wire and wrap it under the seat so that the bare end is as close as possible to the victim's butt when they are seated in the car. When they start th car they should get quite a nice charge.

Out of town
Wait for neighbors to leave for a vacation and tape Police Line Do Not Cross tape all over the door and place fake blood on the door know and bloody foot prints leaving the house. This works best when the neighbors have children who stayed at home during their trip.

30 Rock it like its hot...

When confronted about not paying Jenna for her role as a voice actor in his game Wang Slayer, and why he should Tracy Morgans pulls out the money response of...

"Noblesse Oblige - yes! Let's go shopping - to the Batmobile!"

I don't know if this is tied in to contemporary politics or not, but given the nature of the writers on the show, I might argue that it is (or that it more IS than AIN'T).

According to wiki wiki pedia...

"Noblesse oblige" is generally used to imply that with wealth, power and prestige come responsibilities.

The phrase is sometimes used derisively, in the sense of condescending or hypocritical social responsibility. In American English especially, the term has also been applied more broadly to those who are capable of simple acts to help another, usually one who is less fortunate.

In ethical discussion, it is sometimes used to summarize a moral economy wherein privilege must be balanced by duty towards those who lack such privilege or who cannot perform such duty. Finally, it has been used recently primarily to refer to public responsibilities of the rich, famous and powerful, notably to provide good examples of behaviour or to exceed minimal standards of decency.

Given the nature of my master's thesis, The Profitability of Socially Responsible Business, I would tend to agree with this tenet, at least to a degree. For sure, there are many examples of folks who give back (and have more than enough to do so...cough cough Bill Gates).

The real issue comes into play when this is forced upon those with means. And who decides what the threshold of said means are to gain entry into the NO club and what sort of membership fees they should pay. Given my lack of financial baller status, I think I am far from being effected. But if I were a baller, a shot caller, a little bit taller, I don't think I would mind kicking a little something back, and solidify my status of a man of the people. I mean how many sets of rims and iced out grills do I really need after all?

Anyhow, this is just a long winded post to say, I know what you are saying, without saying it 30 Rock and whereas the comment probably went unnoticed by most, I dig it as much as Who Dat Ninja.

Who needs drugs when you have strawberry pancakes?

I watched this before going to bed last night and had some of the most F'd up dreams one could imagine.

I'll try to summarize...

I was at some sort of rehearsal dinner that was being held next to the fountains at King's Dominion. Tim Gunn was at my table and he was drinking that watermelon beer I wrote about last summer. I was impressed, thinking that both TG and I endorsed this fine beverage.

Our dinner was the same feast featured on last night's episode of survivor. At the end, there was still alot of food left on everyone's plates. TG suggested we bust our own tables since the King's Dominion Staff are in their off season. Then Tim Gunn threw everyone's plates into the fountain.

But wait, here is where things really get strawberry pancake trippy...

Tim Gunn then yells at Tim Gunn (yes there are 2 at this point, an evil Tim Gunn ETG and a good Tim Gunn GTG).

GTG says "Stop that! You have no idea what you are doing! For heaven's sake there is poultry on our plates and the ducks and geese in the fountain are eating it and that is avian cannabalism!"

ETG says "It doesn't matter, ducks and geese are animals and don't have souls."

GTG says "Well, according to the bible yes, but what about the Cubans? If the Cubans see this happening we won't get the vote for another forever years. Quick get those dishes out of the fountain before the Cubans see."

That's all that I can remember and quite honesty I think that is enough to make the point.

That Strawberry Pancake video is pretty much virtual acid.

What did the 5 fingers say to Bush?

Change is coming...

Well crap...

I guess I don't need to read any more.

I swear those were the only books I really enjoyed reading.

Now I am back to Entertainment Weekly.

You're going down woody!

Our house has been under attack by a subversive woodpecker, not once, not twice, but thrice.

The second incident left a whole about the size of a quarter in our house. That was until a squirrel thought that would be the good makings for a nest and ate a fist sized hole into the side of the house (currently covered by a ghetto piece of wood, abandoned building style, until I get some free time and a big ass ladder to fix it).

The most recent incident is at the tippy top of our chimney and is probably the size of a babies fist. I gave that bird fair warning that if he came back, I was gonna bust a cap. Last weekend I found the wife outside through stones at the house.

A few hours later, I was the proud owner of this.

On the same shopping trip I also bought Baklava and attempted to buy some beer.

Unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately) the beer I was after (Sam Adams Chocolate Bock) was unavailable.

I can't help but wonder if the databanks at homeland security don't red flag someone who buys beer, baklava and a pellet gun in the same day.

You wouldn't like my flash drive if it's angry...

I watched the Ed Norton version of The Incredible Hulk this weekend and have to say it was better than expected.

Most of all, I liked some of the subtle nods laced throughout the film, Lou Ferrigno (the original Hulk) as a security guard, the purple pants Liv Tyler buys Norton, and the Starks Industry technology at the beginning (less subtle is when Starks actually shows up at the end).

My biggest bone to pick deals with a scene where Norton is on the run and needs to hide his flash drive. Naturally he eats it. I had to ask, how would a flash drive survive such an environment? No way the data would not be corrupt after that.

Meanwhile, my wife asked, what is that weird noise the dryer is making. I figured it was some loose change, but it sounded more like a roll of pennies than a loose lincoln.

I opened the dryer only to find my flash drive from work. Nice a shiny after a trip through the washer and dryer. Oh Great, there goes MY data.

Anyhow, I just plugged it in to my laptop and low and behold, everything is fine.

Ain't that something?

This is why the Numark CDX CD players ARE BEAST!

This isn't necessarily how I would use them (I'm not a scratch DJ) but it does a great job showing the responsiveness of the CD decks and how well they approximate vinyl.



Yes, those are CD players. Don't let the vinyl platter fool you. That is there for one reason and one reason only, to give vinyl DJ's the input they are used to.

Did you know...

I'm not speaking from direct experience, but rather from an article I read in Car and Driver...

You can be charged with DUI for all kinds of unusual behavior. Here are some of the wackiest DUI arrests Total DUI has encountered:

When a 42-year-old man crashed a go-cart into a parked car on a public street, he was charged with DUI, fined $1,000, and given a two-year driver's license suspension.

Two Portage, Indiana women were charged with DUI after pushing a vehicle into a parked car. After the arrest, they were given blood alcohol tests to determine their blood alcohol contents. Both had BACs more than double the legal limit!

In Morristown, NJ, a man driving a zamboni around the Mennen Sports Arena ice rink was charged with DUI.

A charge of felony DUI resulted for a man in Vermont who decided to hop on his riding lawnmower while intoxicated.

Bill Murray, of Caddyshack fame, was arrested in Sweden after driving a golf cart to a restaurant while drunk. Murray refused a breath test, but could face jail time depending on his blood test results.

It also said that riding a bike or a horse while sauced could qualify as DUI.

The Happening is not

Save yourself the 90 minutes.

The best part*, by far, is the following line...

Marky mark as Main Character Elliot Smith who is a science teacher confronted by chaos and people going straight banoodles and demanding that he rise up, and tell them the plan to deal with said chaos....

All right, be scientific, douchebag. Identify the... rules... design the experiment... careful observation, measurements, that's what I'm trying to do, interpret the experimental pattern, interpret...

*it really isn't even that good. But I enjoyed it as I work in market research and enjoy a good Mark Wahlberg film as much as the next guy.

M. Night Shamalammadingdong, you are slippin, son!

Racebook er Facebook

The FB experiment just got a little bit more interesting and perhaps disturbing...

Maybe I baited the hook a bit here, but shortly after joining facebook, I joined a group within facebook that shares a common interest in the proud consumption of fiscally responsible beverages. This group is called "I drink ole english 800 and am not ashamed to admit it."

Shortly thereafter, I started getting ads like this piped in...

Yes, an ad asking "Is your credit whack?"

I dunno seems a tad bit shady to me. Why not go ahead and pipe in an ad for an escalade full of fried chicken while your at it racebook!

I also signed up to be a member of the John Deere fan club and shudder to think of the forthcoming ads for Skoal and DIY crystal meth labs.

Oh facebook, you so crazy!

Now it is time to start gaming the system to see what kind of off color ads I might be able to summon.

Wings SON!

Going, Going, Gone...

A few weeks ago me and the wife took a trip to go see her pops. While there he gave her a pretty cool gift, an 4 panel photo featuring a pint of Guinness progressing from full to empty.

At the precise moment I laid my eyes on that art, I knew what had to be done, replicate it with a 40.

So last night while hanging out with some friends, we enjoyed a nice dinner of fried chicken and various kinds of competitive beverages. The result is the picture above. For the first 4 pictures, I took great care not to disturb the environment of the shot. This called for the creation of an "I drink your OE milkshake" device (i.e. three super long straws from Popeye's taped together. This allowed me to consumer the beverage without moving the bottle.

I once heard that if you drank beer through a straw you got drunker faster. I think last night may have supported that claim. As I was prepping for the last shot, all my dedicated efforts went right out the door. As I was finishing the 40 I was appalled to see that it was no longer on the table, but in my right hand.

Shazbot! so much for consistent placement. And if you look closely, you can see an Ice Cube cd which mysterious appears in the last shot. I hate to burst your bubble. It is not some ghetto voodoo reward, whereas a gangsta rap cd magically appears after you finish your 40. Rather, my dumbass put it there not thinking about wrecking the shot.

Speaking of wrecking shots, I am pretty sure that is not a UFO in the upper righthand corner of the last shot. No, that is probably my sausage finger getting in the way.

Hooray.

Anyhow, the great thing is that I can chalk all of the above up to being artistic. Yes, that's the ticket.

Fair is Fair

A few posts back I was on the fence about Everlast's cover of Folsom Prison Blues, and for me it will continue to be one of those continually unresolved questions.

I like the idea.

I like the concept for the video.

I am sure I would have gone totally apey if he dropped that unexpectedly at a concert.

I like that the Cash clan backed the project 100%.

But there is something about the execution (especially in the video) the dances dangerously close to the minature pony territory covered in the previous post.

SO I am still on the fence.

However, I will say to not let that stand in the way of checking out the rest of the album. There are a couple of really interesting tracks. Some seem to approach a very loungey almost Groove Armada style ambient sound. A good example is Ocean.

The cool thing about Everlast is that he is not overly concerned with being wedded to one musical style. He likes to experiment and cross genre lines. His musical career has progressed quite a bit from his House of Pain roots.

Saddle up!

So this pic probably needs some 'splainin, and more detail beyond my good friend MC going for a ride on a minature pony.

About a week or two ago I got a call from MC, he was in Midway on a layover flying home for his little brother's wedding. During the conversation he filled me in on some of the details regarding the wedding. I was with him till about point 4.b...

1) Groom wanted an olde school (yeah old with an e) style 1900's british tea party theme, complete with pin striped tuxes with tails, white gloves, canes and top hats.

2) In keeping with point #1 he wanted an officiant with a british accent, the thicker and less understandable the better. He somehow managed to find one.

3) Expresso bar

4) Hired a classical flutist and harp player

4b) Said musicians were only allowed to play arrangements of the grooms favorite Cartoon themes and songs (i.e. Ren & Stimpy's happy happy joy joy)

5) Hire a dozen or so minature ponies to roam the ground during the ceremony and reception

While I'm not sure exactly where the point is, I am sure that somewhere between 4b and 5, the line between personal touches and straight up fucking with people gets crossed.

Eitherway, all the guests got free mini pony rides, and the is more than I can say for a few of the weddings I have been to in my time.

Happy Birthday Trapper Keeper!

Wii Jesus H! Would you believe me if I told you that trapper keeper is almost old enough to drink?

And would you believe me if I told you that they are still going strong?

Egregious Brand Extension

WTF does John Deere have to do with fruit flavored snacks?

I work with "brand" on a daily basis, and this has to be one of the most blatantly bat shit crazy examples of brand extension I have seen in a while, but given that I like John Deere, I like fruit flavor snacks, and I really like the random Will Ferrell-esque combination (you know, they go together naturally, like midgets and q-tips) I will let this one slide.

I swiped this photo from some dude's flickr account and got a double score in their observation and linkage to JD's slogan...Nothing Runs Like a Deere. Said flickr dude noted, you might want to pick up some Immodium along with that. And you know, he is right. Those snacks are chuck full of Vitamin C, and I am pretty sure too much vitamin c = the trots. Oh wait, was that a line there? Did I just cross it? Sorry about that.

Now I have been somewhat critical of these snacks so far and in all fairness, they are simply intended to be the male counterpart to the Dora the explora fruit snacks located right next to the John Deere's. The thing is, couldn't the creatives come up with something a little bit more comparable? Like GI Joe? Or transformers? Or Go-bots for pete's sake?

Go-bot fruit flavored snacks would be MONSTER! I bet Urban Outfitters would even sell them (probably for $19.99 a box).

Hmmmmmmmmm, when did the copyright expire on Go-bots again???????

There's drunk...

and then there is DEEEEEEE-runk!

I think this case falls into the latter.

In case you don't feel like chasing that link, I'll summarize. The article is about a 50 year old man who got so royally shitfaced, he had to take a bus home. After getting off the bus he went to his house, ate a crab cake, then went to bed.

Only he got off at the wrong bus stop.

So the house he went into, and said crab cake that he ate, belonged to someone else, total strangers.

These strangers came home after a nice dinner at a chinese buffet and the mother started questioning the son about the mess in the kitchen and whether he ate the crab cake. He denied the claim.

The father then wandered upstairs into his bedroom and turned on the lights only to discover a strange pantless man sleeping in their bed.

The police were called to sort this whole goldie locks and the three bears mess out and in the end, it was all just a misunderstanding.

That has to be the most liberal use of misunderstanding I have seen in a long time.

The article did not mention the offender's name a no charges were pressed, but I have my theories. Isn't David Hasselhoff in town for the knight rider convention?

Co-worker banter

I was cleaning out my email and came across a rather jovial exchange from a while back and given that a) I am a totally unoriginal bastard these days and b) I am a totally forgetful bastard these days (I may have posted this in the past but don't recall and c) with regard to points A and B I am a totally indifferent bastard, here it goes...

(To set the stage we used to have office gangs, based on which side of the building you were sitting, it was a very scary, dangerous, dark and misogonystic time).

K-Dubs AKA K-Weezy AKA KW: West Side is the best! Down with East side!


R to the I AKA RI: Only women sit on the west side.
(note: at the time, anytime we would want to bring someone down or through salt in their game, we would emasculate their accomplishment by adding Only women INSERT ACCOMPLISHMENT).


KW: Damn, beat T15 to it!


T15: Only women beat T15 to it.


KW: Oh Snap!!!!!


T15: Only women use five exclamation points.


RI: Only women notice the use of exclamation points.


T15: I would say Touche, but only women say Touche. Consequently, sit on it.


RI: Only women would want to say touche but not say it cuz they think only a woman would say it. (Now its getting increasingly complex) Yeah, I know . . . only women make things increasingly complex.


KW: Only women are observant enough to notice complexities. Men would just say it's that time of the month and start singing the Transformer's theme song while getting chewed out for the previous comment.

If you had to choose to be a transformer which one would you be?? ***No choosing to be the one that is like 5 different ones joined together (Dino-bots, Contructa-bots, etc.)


T15: Only someone who wants to be a women transformer would try and change the nature of this email thread...

KW---->

RI: HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I almost peed in my pants!! YEah I know, only women almost pee in their pants.


Thankfully we have come out of the dark ages and our email exchanges have improved in their content.

Well no, not really.

KW and RI left and with them the frat boy humor fostered by an office full of young bucks.

*sigh* time to go file my TPS report.

Origins

I found a pretty cool article on the origins of Old Crow Medicine Show.

Here is an excerpt which references their old timey sound, relative to other styles...

In fact "old-time" music is so called because it predates the recording industry that named it. To the modern ear, old-rime sounds a little like sped-up, drunken children's songs-it plunks and scurries and trips. It's a little dirty, clumsy. It falls apart just enough. If bluegrass is a sturdy, groomed horse, old-time is a mule. (New hot country would be a painted carousel pony.) It's akin to punk rock; it has the same sophisticated lack of refinement, the same defiant authenticity.

You can read the rest of the article here.

Da' Show!

This past weekend marked the opening of Studio 23's Mixtape Art Exhibition, of which T-15 was a humble, yet kick ass contributor.

The location of the exhibit is at in an industrial section adjacent to downtown richmond in an old converted warehouse call plant zero. It's a pretty cool setup as they have parsed the warehouse into a number of 50 or so smaller private studios for local artists. Our stop was at Studio #23 (as if you couldn't have guessed that already).

There were a handful of folks taking in the exhibit which included 34 entries, one of which was an actual mixtape (as opposed to the 33 other mix CDs). I am pretty sure the entry instructions called for a digital format, so I was shocked that an artist failed to conform to the requirements.

Artists!

The entries were as varied as their creators, but mine was clearly the best (not that I am biased or anything). I really wanted to execute against a concept that was more than just a bunch of songs I like and some artwork. That would be too easy and boring. So after kicking some idea's around with trick tickla, the Nobody loves Billie Jean concept came to be.

1 Song done 10 different ways and in a somewhat logical progression (i.e. starting with the original R&B, followed by a New Jack Swing version, followed by a Hip Hop version, followed by a Dance club version, followed by an electronica version, followed by a dub/reggae version, followed by a jazz version, followed by an alternative version, followed by a bluegrass version, followed by folk version).

The artwork mimic the replication/progression theme by tiling the original cover art from the single and progressively applying color filters.

And finally, the basic idea itself, of there being so many different versions of that song is pretty provocative in its own right.

Despite my leanings towards my own work, there were some pretty cool submission not born of t-15's creative loins.

My personal favorite was an album called "Dang! Songs Drunk White People Love." I will list the tracks in another post, but I bet if you are white, you like music, getting drunk and getting drunk & listening to music you could probably guess what all is on that list. The cover art had a bunch of whitey's dancing and was very fitting.

There was also a CD full of songs about pirates, scallywags and seagoing tales. Pirates = automatic win.

Another noteworthy entry featured acoustic versions of a number of songs. Great idea. I would have liked to seen them dig in the crates a bit deeper beyond Foo Fighter's Everlong (acoustic mix) though.

NET net was that it was a good time and I'm looking forward to next year's exhibit already.

I am sure I am a fan...

I stumbled across Deadmau5 (pronounced dead mouse) on I-tunes and think he's got some pretty decent tracks.

Here is a link to a collaboration with Kaskade that has a haunting familiarity to a nice techy house track that for the life of me I can't remember the title. I think it was something that they used to play the living bejeezus out of on pandora. Anyhow his album Random Album Title has some nice selections that I will be downloading quite soon.

I am sure I am not a fan...

WTF PETA?!?!?

People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals sent a letter to Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield, cofounders of Ben & Jerry's Homemade Inc., urging them to replace cow's milk they use in their ice cream products with human breast milk, according to a statement recently released by a PETA spokeswoman.

I am gonna go throw up in my mouth now at the prospect of my next pint of Chubby Hubby being made from some tree hugger's knockers.

Gross. Just plain gross.

I'm not sure I am a fan...

But I'll share anyways...

Deja vu?

I can't remember if I posted this previously or not. For sure I referenced it once or twice, but now I have the actual quote...

"When you tell somebody something, it depends on in what part of the United States you're standing in, as to just how dumb you are." Bo "Smokey" Darville (as played by Burt Reynolds in Smokey and the Bandit).

That quote is as simple as it is profound, as it alludes to the importance of context and the cultural value placed on knowledge.

Respect Yo Self!

One more piece of information with regard to the post below. The night before the OCMS show we watched a documentary on the Stax record label called Respect Yourself.

It was decent and informative, but the really cool part was the linkage between the documentary and the concert. In the documentary, they tell of how all of the Stax artists would stay at the Lorraine motel in Memphis. And while many of their hits were penned there, that is not what people know the Lorraine for. The Lorraine was also the site of the assassination of Dr. MLK.

OCMS has a song, probably on their new album called Motel in Memphis and it is a ballad all about MLK, but it does not mention MLK. Thinking man's bluegrass? I like it!

On a totally unrelated note, I have a feeling that I will be totally lazy and unoriginal when it comes to my halloween costume this year. And this pretty much guarantees it.

Old Crow Medicine Show

Old Crow Medicine Show is an interesting concept and a killer live show to say the least. As described by some as alternative bluegrass, they consist of 5 guys plucking various string instruments and singing folksy songs. The only atypical thing I can think of that qualifies them for alternative bluegrass vs plain ole vanilla bluegrass would be their age. They are relatively young and would look more like Good Charlotte than a bluegrass band.

Regardless their show was awesome and they have a new album dropping this week, so be sure to check it out.

Hurm. Maybe Hip Hop is not dead after all...

Check out this group MHZ. Very nice. Very nice indeed.

Brings to mind a bit of the ole Pharcyde...




In other news, Onyx of all groups just had a new album drop. Who knew?!?!?

You have to see it to believe it...

John McCain's wifey is nutters for drifting...



Michelle, you better start working on your DJ skills, as Cindy just raised the bar on being the coolest potential first lady.

Billie Jean gets around!

So, the honorable Trick Tickla sent me this link to an Art exhibition honoring the art of the mixtape and suggested it was the sort of thing that might be right up my alley and ya know what, he was right.

We kicked around a few random ideas and he thought it would be funny to submit a mixtape with the same song over and over again. I admit, I like the concept, but chances are the artistic value of playing the same song 10 times over might be lost on some of the more low brow judges.

However, I saw the potential and I executed against what works and addressed the issue of sameness by locating no less than 10 different versions of MJ's Billie Jean, ranging in genres from R&B to Bluegrass and covering pretty much everything in between.

I then did my best AW knock-off of the album cover and SHAZAAM! I had an entry!

I'm not sure if they will accept my submission, but who knows. T-15 could very well be on the way to being a high faluting art house exhibitor.

Holla!

Gummi bears, bouncing here and there and cutting off ears...

we are the absinthe gummi bears.

WHY BOTHER!

Look, the whole idea of reinventing oneself is only worthwhile if you make yourself relevant again in a good way. I recently read an article in EW on one Fred Durst and his second coming. The one time bad boy face of the hip-hop rock front turned total douche bag after admitting his crush on Britney Spears talked of becoming a recluse (more or less), growing a beard and getting back to his true passion.

Ok sounds good (bonus points for the fancy old school fedora hat and matching Frank Sinatra rat pack suit he was wearing).

Then he got into talking about he big break. Working on Longshots with Ice Cube.

Way cool on face value, but dig even a millimeter and that facade turns to feces. Longshots is a family comedy about a girl who joins the football team as their quarter back. Another installment of Ice Cube's "you got to be F'n kidding me that that is the same guy from NWA" family friendly movies.

Lovely.

Just Lovely.

Mr T sez "Get some Nuts"

A new ad, already banned...

You probably won't believe me...

but last weekend, while in Frederick, I passed a McDonalds and at that McDonalds, in line at the drive through was a man in an electric wheel chair.

He wasn't trying to get to his car or just passing through.

He was in line, ordering an extra value meal in between a conversion van and a pick-up truck.

These are the sort of reasons why I should always have a camera handy.

What if George Lucas restored Singin' In The Rain?

It's good to see that she is really strecthing herself...

Interesting connections, no?

Check out Fergie's latest role.

I can't wait to see what's next...the lead role in a movie about a broad who ruins a really solid hip hop act?

Way to strech yourself, Fergusson, way to stretch yourself.

Disinformation Shirts

While checking gmail, I saw a rather intriguing link to a site that sells disinformation shirts. It took me no less than 2 seconds to determine I really like the concept and might have to start churning out a few ideas of my own. In the meantime, here is an example of their handywork...

Get BUCK!

Just when I thought the day could not get any worse yesterday, I left the office and while walking to my car found myself in a staring contest with a 6ft Male deer who expressed an unnatural attraction to my green polo shirt.

I stood still cause I didn't want to scare the deer off. Then he looked me in the eye and started moving in like he was gonna maul me all "FOX PRESENTS WHEN GOOD DEER GO BAD" special-like. Now I was less concerned about scaring him off as he was seriously scaring me. Why was he creeping? And why is there a deer in the parking lot of a pretty urbanized area?

Thankfully I have taken 3 classes of Tae Kwon Do in the last month and somehow the deer sensed this and knew better that to tangle with topic15 on a bad day.

Common -- Come Close Remix

Very nice!

Where did the past month go?

Sweet pappy molassy, has it really been nearly a month since my last post?

For shame!

Well in my defense, work has been disturbingly busy and I was out of the country for a while. The former is not so much blogworthy, while the latter, well there were some choice instances.

Where do I begin?

How about with the Ridiculous Race? As I grow older, so does my distrust of all things, so I was not going to let United Airlines take responsibility for my in flight entertainment --thank goodness as they were showing probably the worst lot of inflight movies I have ever had opportunity to watch, and I watched the Herbie the love bug remake with Lohan and some french version of a Top Gun knock off called Les Chevaliers.

But I digress... the ridiculous race is the true story of two friends who randomly decided to race each other around the world going in different directions....without using airplanes. The first to return to LA and drink their glass of the most expensive scotch they could find (which would be poured into their designated glasses at the start of the race) would be declared the winner.

It should be noted that this book is written by 1 writer from American Dad and 1 writer from My name is Earl. The race starts with one contestant trying to handcuff the other and plaster PEDOPHILE bumperstickers all over him. Yeah it is that kind of book. Good to read when you are trying to ignore the romper-room flight you discover you are on, full of lil demonspawn kids kicking your seat for 3+ hours.

Once in Mexico, things settled down and I learned a few important things....


LESSON #1 -- Immigration takes the Occupation field on your entry for VERY SERIOUSLY.

During what I thought was some idle poolside bar conversation, I joked about listing Stunt Car Driver as my profession on the form. I got a "dude, that's not funny look" from a couple we were chatting with. Apparently, he put down BOTANIST, his true profession, and they immigration agents took great interest in him, so much, that they pulled him into a special room for questioning.

ZOIKS!


LESSON #2 -- Mexico REALLY likes Scooby Doo.

For the second year running, I was amazed by the fact that there was a 99% chance that there was some sort of Scooby Doo cartoon or movie playing on one of the 3 english speaking stations we received in our room.


LESSON #3 -- Mother Nature always gives warning sides.

Not that they are necessarily heeded, but if one looks, they can usually see some form of foreshadowing before shit starts popping off...the buzz of an angry rattlesnake flicking its tail, the pawing of the ground by an irrate bison, a bar top full of crushed cans of coors light at an all you can drink bar (with selections far better than coors light). I thought of this as a warning sign as I approached the bar and laughed it off, mockingly. Within seconds, I saw shots of tequila going around. Then in the blink of an eye, a loud SMASH, yelling and pieces of shattered plastic drink tumblers flew everywhere. Some total douche bag who was far too old for such ass clown antics, spiked his cup on the floor at the feet of our bartender.

Cool, calm and collected, despite having the world's sweatiest chin, he picked up the phone and started whispering. The ass clown's friend, ass-clown II, asked, hey friend, are you calling the cops? The bartender smiled and said yes and then laughed. But not the kind of, HA HA just kidding laugh, the I just sent a gringo to mexican jail laugh.

The ass-clown posse scattered the 4 ways of the wind.


LESSON # 4 COPS is an Acronym.

In Europe it is short for Constipole on Patrol. The meaning is slightly different in latin america. It translates more accurately to Cougars on Patrol. Maybe it was coincidence, maybe not, but a few short minutes after the call was made, a group of 40-something year old ladies in their pink cowboy hats and Bon Jovi bikini's made their way over to and on top of the pool bar to start dancing. They even brought they own music in the form of a Ipod that played one song and one song only, Estelle's American Boy. They drank, they danced, they took over the outside rec-room and started teaching kick-box--aerobics. I kid you not.


LESSON #5 -- Someone has perfected the art of packing lightly yet always bringing spare underwear.

Holy shit. I have seen some crazy things in my life, but for me, this is damn near at the top. While waiting for our bags in customs after our return flight home, we were hanging out by the baggage claim. Soon it was buzzing and whirring where in most places it means bags are forthcoming, but in Dulles it means it might be another hour or so. Eventually, I saw them creeping up the conveyor belt and soon there was a steady stream of non-descript black bags. Just to break up the monotony there was one pair of grey drawers. They were wet and flopping along the belt like a slinky. They looked to be for women, but given the international nature of the flight, that is not a given. I am sure my words do this no justice and I am saddend by that fact (well that and the fact that they prohibit photography in the customs hall--otherwise the grey drawer slinky would be on YOUTUBE right this very moment).

All in all it was a good trip and I will try and write more often. At least once before the third week of august.

Happy Rick, er birthday....

Yeah, that's the ticket.

Phil Collin's vocals are sacred!

Here is my rework of my latest remix...

Kentucky's Best Kept Secret

Post 402 in da house!

Here is my latest project...

Stacking the deck

OK, so those rebel brewers are setting the stage for their very own election. Here are the two candidates...

Samuel Adams Blackberry Witbier The aroma has distinct Blackberry notes with a subtle spice character. We brewed a traditional witbier with orange peel and coriander, and then added a hint of blackberry. The flavor is very complex with malt and cereal notes, intense spice and citrus flavors and a smooth, sweet/tart finish.

Samuel Adams Coffee Stout This stout is "dry beaned" with coffee beans from Rwanda*. Known as the "land of a thousand hills", Rwanda produces some of the world's finest coffee due to its volcanic soil, high altitude and plentiful rain. We start with a full-bodied stout brewed with a special blend of roasted barley and dark crystal malt, and then age if for two weeks on whole coffee beans- ¾ of a pound per barrel. The result is a rich roasty flavor with a smooth finish.

* For this stout we are proud to be using Rwandan coffee from The Thousand Hills Coffee Company. Thousand Hills' proceeds help subsidize and support the building of schools in Rwanda. We are thrilled to support Thousand Hills and are excited that they made a special roast of coffee just for this beer.

Hmmmmm, Isn't that a bit unfair?

If you vote for the first one, aren't you basically saying they should not be building schools in Rwanda?

I would definitely vote for the stout. Not because I am especially socially responsible, but rather the thought of coriander in beer makes me throw up in my mouth a little. Just plain gross!

Age is just a number...

Well that's one way to spend the stimulus package...

It's called a Muni.

Muni is a truncation of Mountain Unicycle.

I was passed by one (going in the opposite direction) on the W&OD bike trail while on a 21 mile bike ride yesterday.

I cam damn close to wrecking because I was laughing so hard at the site of that thing.

Seriously?

New York to New Orleans in 4 days, and 1500 miles!

Wow.

Just wow.

It is not too often that something comes along and generates a perverse spark of excitement in your soul the way the american banger rally does.

What in tarnation is the American Banger Rally?

Well it is the demon seed of a bunch of deviant limey's, a test of courage, stupidity, and mechanical know how, but most of all, it sounds like a hell of a lot of fun.

This year's event is titled BABE which stands for Big Apple/Big Easy and will be a 1500 mile rally (not race) from Staten Island to New Orleans over the course of 4 days.

I take it you are not yet impressed.

Well here is the kicker, the maximum value/purchase price of your vehicle is $250, less than the black market rate for a Nintendo Wii.

Think of it as a Cannonball run for hoopties.

Even better, I know a participant in this year's event.

Introducing BT Justice racing!

PJ and posse have pimped a wagon in hommage to Smokey and the Bandit (quite nicely I might add) and are already enroute to the starting line. Wish them luck.

I am now on a mission to assemble a crack team of bangers for the 2009 and find a $250 windowless van for the A-Team, er maybe the B-team.

Obeyma--er, Obama

I tend to avoid political discourse in this blog for 2 reasons. One, I am not the most politically saavy cat on the block and two, people get way too serious about politics (especially non-saavy political cats) and we likes to keep it fun and fresh here at t-15.

However, like most rules, T-15 relishes in breaking them when there is good reason and good reason there is. Obama just picked up a key endorsement from a fine young man from South Carolina. No not John Edwards (although I imagine that was pretty clutch too), rather none other that he who brought us the deliciously disturbing imagery of Obey the giant, Shepard Fairey.

He says this on his site...

I believe with great conviction that Barack Obama should be the next President. I have been paying close attention to him since the Democratic convention in 2004. I feel that he is more a statesman than a politician. He was against the war when it was an unpopular position (and Hillary was for the war at that time), Obama is for energy and environmental conservation. He is for healthcare reform. Check him out for yourself www.barackobama.com.

Interestingly and much in line with his statement above, Fairey has wanted to support Obama through his unique "talents" but he held off until he received blessing from the man himself. The reason for the wait stems from Fairey's concern that his artwork and his interpretation of "use of public space" often bump up against legal grey areas and the last thing he wanted to do is sully the reputation of good ole Biz-rock! Much to his delight, Obama signed off on the venture and was thankful for his endorsement and support. There was an article about it in this weekend's post which outlines the whole thing in much nicer detail than I can here, but I will include the excerpt about the letter...

Fairey rummages around on his desk and produces a letter from Obama himself. "Dear Shepard," the candidate writes. "I would like to thank you for using your talent in support of my campaign. The political messages involved in your work have encouraged Americans to believe they can help change the status quo. Your images have a profound effect on people, whether seen in a gallery or on a stop sign."

Messages. Images. Effect. Someone understands phenomenology. And the thing about stop signs? "He's kind of endorsing graffiti," Fairey says, "isn't he?"

Cool stuff. Almost dare I say it, Bill Clinton balancing the budget and still being a freak in the bed cool.

And despite the poltical purpose of the art, good ole Shep still sneaks in a little Obey the Giant action with Obama's lapel pin.

Now just because someone you like, likes a candidate, that is no good reason to vote for them.

You should vote for someone YOU relate to, someone who shares your beliefs and champions your values.

So as much as I like Fairey, his endorsement is not enough on it's own.

I need proof that he is a thinking man who can see potential for greatness and execute against it.

Early on, I saw similarities between Barack and The Rock, in terms of the speaking styles, and even to a lesser degree their looks. I know the WWF consitituents will be of great importance this election and I really thought it would be cool if he could somehow co-opt the rock's catch phrase --"Can you smell what the Rock is cooking?" And then I saw this.

Oh SNAP!

If he can pull my ideas out of the ether like that, well say no more. I can dig it.

Hell or High Watermelon

Now I know by the sounds and looks of the can above, I am sure many of you are probably shuddering in disgust of the prospect of watermelon infused beer, but I can honestly say that stuff is way too good. Disturbingly good. I have a can in my fridge and I don't know how long it is going to stay in there good.

I sampled this bevvie this past weekend at Savor, a beer and food pairing event that featured 30 or so of this countries swankest craft brewers. The event was built around the concept of matching beer with food to either tease out or tone down certain flavors.

It was a hell of a good time. Besides being able to endlessly sample all sorts of food and beer, we also got to see Jim Koch (founder of Sam Adams) speak. If you ever have the opportunity to see the man speak, take it. He is a real cowboy and riot to hear speak. He talks of the dark ages of american brewing in the 80s and describes himself as a member of a band of rebel forces hellbent on taking down the deathstar of Miller, Bud and Coors and the relatively tastebud numbing swill they produce. He did not trash talk their product, rather he said that ice cold refreshment of light ales is one of the nicest properties of beer, he just doesn't make that kind of beer. Rather he brews his family recipe from the 1800s, during the 1st golden age of american craft brewing. Beers that are designed to have complex tastes which are meant to be enjoyed (rather than merely seeking cold refreshment).

All in all it was a great day.

Oh and the watermelon beer? Only available in San Francisco at the moment. Destined to reach the east coast in about 2 years. Hopefully. Looks like I will need to really make that can last afterall.

It was formerly called "Lumps of Delight"...

Ok, I am going to resist the urge to "go there" with this post and keep it high brow for a Friday.

Lumps of delight is an English reference to Turkish Delight. Ever since seeing the snotty brother request a batch from the ice queen, I have been curious as to what in the heck that marshmallowly looking stuff is.

We I can conclusively say, it ain't marshmallowy, but it is delightful. It is like a giant orange slice dipped in powdered sugar (instead of the knobby granular sugar coating you typically see) and like lucky charms, it is magically delicious.

A second bennie from taking the Lebanese Cooking class was that the class took place in the basement of the Lebanese Taverna/Market and we got to load up on a variety of ethnic groceries, including but not limited to a big ass box of Turkish Delight.

They had a 2nd variety flavored with Rosewater, which is quite popular in parts of Asia and the Middle East. Personally, I will pass. I imagine it would pretty much equate to eating a bowl full of pot-pouri from Grandma's bathroom.

Where art thou, Topic15?

I know it has been a while, but there has been a lot going on in the T-15 clan these past few weeks, none of which is exactly blog-worthy, least not blog worthy in the smart ass stylings this blog prides itself upon.

Then I saw last night's episode of american idol which featured an appearance by form idol winner Fantasia. The performance was pointless except for a shot of Simon's face when he got a good look at Fantansia.

Since winning, Fantasia has kept busy making albums and climbing ugly trees and falling out of them, only to hit every limb on the way down. I tried to do a google image search to find a picture from last night's performance but came up short. As a proxy I did a google image search on chupacabra and well that is a fairly good, albiet slightly slender approximation.

In other news, I saw Iron Man and as Ron Burgandy would put it, that movie is the balls. I would have like to have heard Black Sabbath a bit earlier than the closing credits, but that is really my only critique.

In other, other news, me and the wifey took a cooking class at the Lebanese Taverna last night and who knew that Burghul Pilaf would be so damn good! Besides learning how to prep and cook a few dishes, we also got some good knife handling techniques, so watch out now! My prison shanking technique has just leveled up to one step closer to Samurai.

Oh Dat's Nice

It's sorta lika a hot pocket flavored hot pocket...

but waaaaaaaaay cooler...

Yes, someone figured out how to cram a fully functional ninetendo into a nintendo cartridge.

That is freaking awesome!

You can read more about it here.

And it you were hoping for a more literal hot pocket related post, go here.

Ultimo Grosso

Amongst this weekend's adventures, I found myself wandering through a World Market, suffering from low blood sugar driven urges to buy stuff I have no business buying.

Two examples included a Gummi bear the size of my fist as well as a bag of foreign candy called Silky Nuts. INSERT TASTELESS JOKE HERE.

I also bought some Hummus to go, which is a single serving stored in an odd triangular pouch, identical to those used for those minute maid popsicles.

Despite my delusions, I DID NOT BUY the bag of Kewpie Mayonnaise. I couldn't tell for sure if the bag in the bag was shaped like an actual Kewpie doll, but given that it was imported from Japan, I am not totally ruling the idea out.

I think I may have found a gold mine for Christmas 2008 Stocking Stuffers. Nothing says happy birthday baby Jesus like a bag full of mayo from the land of the rising sun.

babies are the new black

Van damn! People are getting knocked up right and left round here.

Did Jodeci re-release Forever my lady?

It matters not! Babies are on the way, and if there is one thing I know, luck favors the prepared and here is some SOLID advice rooted in pseudo-scientific fact...

I am not saying anything, BUT, I did see some interesting findings with regard to the relationship between playing video games and deviant behavior.

A recent study showed that excessive playing of violent video games EXCLUSIVELY was a marker of tendency of increased aggression, violence, and anti-social behavior.

Interestingly enough, NOT PLAYING ANY video games was also a similar marker.

So what does that mean? Well, quite simply, it is your duty as a responsible parent to not only provide opportunity and access to video games, but a well stocked, wide library of games as well. So for even Grand Theft Auto game you will need a guitar hero 3 to ensure a well rounded video game environment.

Proper parenting dictates that you really need to go get that Wii just as much as you need that crib and stroller.

Lock it!

The Nobody post from a few days ago spawned some interesting wikipedia findings with regard to the history of locking.

The beginning of Locking can be traced to one man, Don Campbell. In the late 1960s he put together several fad dances adding moves of his own (notably the "Lock") when performing.
The original lock was created by accident: Don Campbell couldn't do a move called the Funky Chicken and stopped at a particular point. He wasn't able to perform it fluently, for he couldn't remember which step to take next. (Even the acting towards the audience was of spontaneous nature: people started laughing at Don because of his unfamiliar moves, whereas he started pointing at them.) These halts soon became popular as Don added them into his performances.

The resulting dance was called Campbellocking, which was later shortened to Locking.

In the early 1970s this set off a movement of Locking dance groups. The most notable was when Campbell formed the dance group The Lockers [T15 note: this is the group in the commercial] and set the foundation for locking dance and clothes style.

Now you know what it is, here is how you doooooz it...

Alpha/applejax/Oilwells --One leg is kicked forward from a crouching position while the upper body is lent backwards supported by both hands.

Bop-top --a bop top is where you make a 70s face step with it and some hand gesture

Box split --A semi-split done with one leg bent, which enables the dancer to get up again in one swift movement.

Crazy horse or Whichaway --Altering kicks to the sides with right and left legs, upper body stationary with arms in front as if holding reins .

Funky Broadway --Moving the feet from a 'V' position to an upside-down 'V' position, while moving to the side. The body generally lags behind.

Funky Chicken --Feet move from side to side with small kicks each way, while moving the body up and down. (This is different from the James Brown Funky Chicken.)

Groove Walk or Rock-Steady or The Bump ---Stepping forward, the hip of your front foot is thrusted towards the front foot, brought back, dipped forward towards the front foot as you take a step with your back foot (sometimes used to get across the dance floor with some funk in your step)

Hop kick --A high, quick kick of one leg while standing straight on the other.

Knee Drop -- Drop to the knees with knees pointing inwards (into a W shape leg position).

Leo Walk --A funky two step where the first is an exaggerated step in a particular direction, followed by sliding of the second foot along the floor to meet the first

Lock --Bending slightly forward with arms forming a circle downward, as if lifting a heavy object.
Pacing --A quick punch to the side, with hand starting just below the shoulder. (Fist should still be open.)

Stomp the cockroach --Going down on one knee, with the other leg pointing out to the side, then pounding the floor.

Scooby doo --Taking a stationary forward step, then making a Lock

Scooby walk --Walking forward, stopping and bending knees outward with each step

Scootbot or scoobop --Skipping while making the motion of an exaggerated step to the left or right.

The Skeeter Rabbit-- a kick and shiffle hop move

Stop-and-go/Busstop--Taking a step back and to the left/right, then forward again.

Uncle Sam points --A quick, extended pointing gesture, usually held for a few seconds for emphasis

Wrist roll or Twirl --Twirling wrists while moving arms up and down in pace.

Barracuda

I know some of you don't want to deal with the hot tranny mess of watching that whole video from a few posts below, so here is a picture that basically sums it up...

I swear, no photoshop.

Nobody!

Citizen Kane has nothing on this masterpiece...

And then there is this...

Would you believe me if I said Heart dropped by American Idol's Give Back special to grace us with a little Barracuda?

Probably.

But what if I told you halfway through the song that Neo-Yoko Ono skeezer Fergie crashes the party and starts doing one-handed cartwheels?

Would you believe me then?

I doubt it. Heck I know I didn't believe it when I heard it. But unfortunately for us all here is the proof...

Then there is irony and just plain right...

RIP Chuck.

There is irony and there is just plain wrong

Ok now it is twice that I have witnessed a scene that has caused me to pause and think, that is just plain wrong, and trust me, after 12 years of Catholic school, it takes quite a bit to rattle my cage.

Leaving the gym I saw a car drive away with special Cancer Awareness plates (complete with matching pink ribbon magnets) and a tag that read something to the effect of SRVIVR.

Now here is where things go wrong, really wrong. The car was being driven by someone smoking, smoking with the windows up nonetheless.

HOW THE HELL CAN YOU GO AROUND CHAMPIONING CANCER AWARENESS AND THE HOTBOX A FREAKING PARLIMENT?

Who still smokes?

Neh, who still smokes with the windows up?

Nehmore, who still smokes with the windows up on the warmest day of the year so far?

Nehfurthremore, who still smokes with the windows up on the warmest day of the year so far while trying to raise awareness of Cancer?

Granted there may be a difference between lung cancer and breast cancer, but the big C is the big C.

This whole scene is like trying to raise awareness of the energy crisis by holding a 3200 mile cross country race between a Hummer, a suburban, and an Excursion.

Putting the wee wee in Wii

It looks like R. Kelly may be getting his own game for the Wii.

Dear Santa...

Send it! Send it NOW! I'll even put the tree back up.

Writers Strike

Thank goodness it is over, but did you ever wonder what those creative types did over the weeks when they were not busy devising plots for Lost or Heros?

Now I can not conclusively prove this, but the data in my Spam inbox suggests that they kept the lights on by coming up with and selling engaging taglines for spam.

The uncreative crap titles such as "Add 3 inches overnight" and "Size DOES matter" have been replaced with new and exciting offers including:

Enjoy a sizzling love life with your new instrument.

Whip out the anaconda in your pants and watch her eyes light up with excitement.

Having a larger rocket in your pocket gives you more confidence both in life and around women.

Imagine if you could have a 9 inch tool in your pants - NOW YOU CAN.

Very nice random emailers, very nice.

Why are you so angry?

I was in line behind some guy at 7-eleven today who makes ME look patient.

He went from under his breath grumbling to full on F-bomb dropping in a blink of an eye when the sales clerk took just a little too long to select just the right big bite for another customer. Finally he threw down $5 and yelled Gimme five on the van. I guess that's when things started to make sense.

1) Nobody likes to wait -- This was the step that primed the pump
2) He was driving a mini-van -- That is a powdered keg for almost anyone under 35
3) He only had five dollars for gas -- What is that, like a gallon and a half?

The combination of these three things pretty much set the stage for a FOX 5 breaking news event if I ever saw one.

I dunno. Maybe he was also having a bad day to boot. Perhaps a little too much St. Patty's day celebration, maybe he is the victim of some crazy rumor. The possibilities are endless.

Maybe some of you are asking, what kind of rumor could be that enraging? Well as an example, and I am not saying this rumor did get started, but it very easily could have, this past weekend we caught up with some old friends for 30th birthday party.

One of invities named "Matty" called to indicate that he had a blast at the DC 101Shamrockfest and was absolutely piss-bent and would not be making it to the party. I think the message went like this. HJBIOP fqoi ewrrivf qwioecn9pqper oernpwerv. Dill pickles.

About five minutes later, in a different conversation someone spoke of how their dog "Maddie" pooped out a sock earlier in the day.

You don't have to be a rocket scientist to see the potential implications of someone overhearing Mattie got bombed and Maddie pooped a sock.

I think that is precisely the type of rumor worthy of dropping an F-bomb or two at a slow poke big bite wrangler.

Awareness Test

Meat-o-nomics

What started out as a rather innocuous what’s going on this weekend? Email evolved into what is quite possibly the most intellectually provocative string of replies my eyes have seen in this year 2008. I have taken liberties to summarize the thread and truncated the names to protect the innocent.

Without further ado I present Meat-o-nomics 2008…

G-man: Anything exciting going on this weekend?

P-vo: Dc tonight for happy hour to meet an old roommate. Working on an econ mid-term all day tomorrow. Tomorrow night going to dc to meet another old roommate then to adams morgan.

G-man: econ mid-term, eh? I got a good thesis topic for you.... Quantify the elasticity between El Crank (Spanish for the Crank—note Spanishification added by T-15) and the national hot dog supply.

P-vo: I wish all test questions were that easy. El Crank has an extremely high price elasticity of demand when it comes to the consumption of hot dogs, i.e. if there is a large change in price in hot dogs, the quantity desired changes drastically. I would consider there to be a price ceiling on this elasticity however, I can only imagine El Crank at the grocery store looking at a $10 package of hot dogs, shaking his head and exclaiming “$10 for a package of hot dogs! I’ve never paid $10 for a package of hot dogs!” At this point we would need to discuss the availability of and his propensity to consume substitutes…but that would be an entirely different lecture altogether.

El Crank: I don't think you can have an educated discussion about Economics without the use of Charts. See attached.

P-vo: What would have been real funny is if the curve were constructed out of an actual hotdog. It is interesting to note that the curve never touches the x axis, meaning the crank's demand for hot dogs never reaches 0, thus destroying the concept of diminishing marginal utility and utterly blowing my mind!

T-15: Asketh and ye shall receiveth!

Ok technically speaking that is not a hot dog. Likewise, technically speaking I am no graphics designer wiz.

Eitherway, a meat product curve is a meat product curve.

Big Mac Index

In a rather creative approach to understand the value of the dollar, some fatty economist devised a Big Mac index, showing what a Big Mac would cost around the world once you convert the local selling price into USD...

Five most expensive
1) Iceland - US 7.44
2) Norway - US 6.63
3) Switzerland - US 5.05
4) Denmark - US 4.84
5) Sweden - US 4.59

Five most affordable
1) China - US 1.41
2) Hong Kong - US 1.54
3) Malaysia - US 1.57
4) Venezuela - US 1.58
5) Egypt - US 1.60

In other news I have eaten at Mcdonalds in two of the 10 markets listed above and fully agree. I think I paid close to $16 for a McChiken "Value" meal in Zurich and about $3.50 for a McArabia meal in Cairo.

Hehehe...

Foreshadowing...

T-minus 28 hours and counting till the Richmond edition of EFH sets off with 5 brave souls.

I'll leak some tasty info that should be on the down-low, but that is only due to the fact that all but one of the participants, Tricktickler Burr Loco, don't be knowing bout da T-15 bliggity blog.

You see, as part of the adventure, new, exciting, and original shirts are being encouraged and I am running off two special prints tonight.

One for me...

A nice tribute to Eric Wright AKA Eazy-E of NWA fame and certainly no stranger to the creature (AKA Malt Liquor). I am pretty sure there is a scene in BoyZ in the Hood where a Chain Snatcher wearing a "We Want Easy" T-shirt creeps up on Ricky, grabs his links, only to get the mother of all beatdowns. I think that scene, in some ways, will symbolize tomorrow's activities. I will try and sneak up on the Olde Gold, but I am sure that 80 ounces of that rocket fuel in short order will beat me down.

And one for ole Tricktickler...

I don't even know where to start with this. I guess this is what you get when you roll with a crew that keeps on eye on the media for any relevant little people news, happens to know a brutha who knows a brutha who is a graphic artist, and is geared up for a little EFH action.

Anyhow, it will make for an interesting evening, that is for sure.

Oh did I mention we will have the premier viewing of the terror of tiny town? Yeah, it is going to be that kind of night.